The Love of A Knight
by Persiansweetie
Summary: When a young sister of Arthur disappears and returns, how will her brother? the knights take it? espically one knight LancelotOC
1. Chapter 1

The Love Of A Knight

It was a beautiful day but I never seem to see the days anymore for I had been locked in nothing but darkness yet the only light that seemed to keep me going was the hope of reuniting with my brother and my fellow knights.

I should probably introduce myself. My name is Shirin Castus, the half sister of Arthur Castus. Leader of the Sarmatian knights, a warrior of both Roman and Briton yet his father was my father for my mother was from Persia and upom meeting her he had fallen for her and wooed her, creating me in the process. My mother had remained his mistress yet not for long. Arthur had always saw me as his little sister and never condemmed me for what our parents had been through. I had been trained as a knight along side Arthur, his best friend as well as mine, Lancelot and our other close knights. Galahad, Gawain, Bors, Tristain and Dagonet. My brothers in arms, truly what I would call family but I had always been in love with Lancelot even as a child but with bad forturne I was taken from them by the Woads which I later found out were truly people that were of help then later on I was captured by Marius and till now I was still imprisoned inside this trecherous wall that held nothing but the stench of death now but along my journey I had Guinevere, daughter of Merlin who was the leader of the Woads.

It was another day filled with terror, pain and betrayal as I laid along side of Guinevere with my head in her lap as I thought about my brother for the 3rd time that day today.

"Shirin what is it that you are thinking of?" she asked curiously. Guinevere knew of my brother Arthur for she had heard of stories from me and her father both.

I smiled weakly as I turned to face her. "I was thinking of the last time I had seen his face before I was taken in by Marius. Oh Gwen what if I am not able to see him again? My brother? My knights?" I asked fearfully.

Guinevere merely smoothed down my hair as she rested her head exaustingly against the wall both thinking the samething no doubt but what we didn't know was our lives were about to change.

About a day later...

I was awaken by the sound of someone breaking into our prison cell and I heard a demanding voice that sounded a bit familiar.

"The work of your god? Is this how he answers your prayers?" he wondered in disgust. I tried to lift my head from upon Guinevere's lap but I was having some difficulties. I knew I had heard that voice once before then another familiar voice cut in my thoughts.

"See if there is any still alive" came a commanding voice. My eyes widened as I recognized the voice of my own kin, my brother Arthur which meant the voice that I heard was Lancelot's. I struggled to rise then froze as I heard the sound of ripping flesh and a body thudding against the ground. Guinevere turned her shocked expression towards me to make sure if I saw that but I met her expression with a surprisingly calm one.

"There was a man of god!" one of the monks protested. I heard the sound of Lancelot's growl. "Not my god!" he shot back as he continued on what he was intent on doing. I heard Dagonet's voice which made my eyes well up in happy tears as I heard my brothers in arms voices then I saw Lancelot peek into our cell and spotted Guinevere and I laying there. I felt the ache in my heart as I stared at how handsome he had become with his wild, curly hair and bearded goatee but his deep brown eyes that burned within my own still held his distrust. He didn't seem to recognize me but I could barely summon up the strength to call out to him as he called out to Arthur. I saw Guinevere eye them untrustfully which I didn't blame for she didn't even know them yet I wasn't much help either.

I saw Arthur come over and I nearly called out in happiness as he peered inside also not seeming to recognize me but it had been at least 2 years since we had seen one another.

He rose and unsheathed Excalibur and cut off the lock in a mighty blow that made Guinevere and I to cower in fear. Arthur reached in and with comfort murmur's pulled Guinevere within the cradle of his arms as he lifted her and carried her out leaving Lancelot alone to do the same. I eyed Lancelot to see if would recognize me but I felt the wave of dizziness settle over me and I swayed a bit as I made to rise. Lancelot rushed forth and swept me into his strong, warm arms as he cradled me against his chest.

"It is alright now, you are safe" he murmured in comfort. I merely gave a meek sigh as he quickly carried me out and into the cool, snowy air as he bellowed for water. I blinked against the harsh light for I hadn't seen light in a longtime. I saw Lancelot check me over then he stopped as he saw something that he seemed to recognize. No doubt that he found my scar on my shoulder that he had inflicted by accident when we were training with one another.

Lancelot had felt so guilty about that, that he didn't face me for a week until I finally cornered him and made him talk to me and I explained to him that I wasn't to be treated as a child, I was a grown girl and bound to get cuts, from then on we became close as anyone could possibly get yet we never admitted our feelings for one another and I knew that Lancelot held feelings for me as I held for him. No one knew about that scar but Lancelot alone and as I gazed at him I knew that he recognized me.

He raised his eyes to meet mine and I gave him a weak smile. "Did you miss me Lance?" I cracked hoarsely. His eyes widened then I heard Tristain make a comment.

"Their Woads" he stated. Lancelot ignored him as he turned to search my eyes to make sure that it was true and that I wasn't deceiving him but when I mentioned the nickname that I had given him he knew that I wasn't deceiving him at all.

He turned to me and gently swept me into his arms to give me a comforting hug as I held onto him the best that I could and I saw everyone turn to see what the commotion was all about. Lancelot turned towards Arthur.

"Arthur come quickly! Look at her and tell me who is it you see" Lancelot ordered as Arthur came to his side. Arthur looked down at me with impatientness but then his eyes searched mine and his eyes widened in recognization.

"S-Shirin? Is it truly you?" he asked. I nodded weakly then I closed my eyes at the pain that shot through my body. Lancelot tensed his jaws in anger and cradled me closer more protectively. I heard the other knights murmur my name and I knew that they had missed me just as much as Arthur and Lancelot had.

"Stop! What are you doing?" cried Marius. Lancelot sent him a death glare and dared him to come closer but Arthur decided a different approach as he rose angerly at Marius.

"What is this madness?" he demanded. I felt Lancelot brushing my tangled hair out of my face as I shivered then I felt him began to check my injuries and I saw his jaw tighten upon seeing the wounds that were inflicted by countless beatings and tortures. The muscles in his jaw twitched threatingly as I recognized his death look.

"They're all Pagans here!" Marius exclaimed defensively. Arthur wasn't excepting that answer but Galahad beat him to an answer.

"So are we" he stated. I watched Arthur as did Lancelot as Marius was trying to make them see reason in the matter of which he ran by this.

"They refuse to do the task that god has set out for them!" he shot back pitifully. I gripped onto Lancelot as he took a water bottle from Gawain who kneeled next to me as well as he smiled down at me happily and brushed a strand of hair out of my face.

"Good to have you back little one" he murmured. I nodded then greedly drank the water that Lancelot offered me and coughed as I had drunk to fast but my attention was once captured by Arthur once again.

"You mean they refused to become your serfs!" yelled out Arthur angerly. I jumped a bit but then Lancelot stroked my cheek comfortingly as he gazed into my eyes then I had made to stand but Lancelot stopped me.

"You need to save your strength. Do not fret so for you are safe now little one and you know this" he murmured comfortingly. I knew what he meant but then my attention rested on Fulcinia as she came to my side but then Marius turned his anger upon her.

"YOU! You kept them alive!" he shouted angerly as he backhanded her and she went sprawling on the ground, Lancelot made to rise but Arthur beat him to it and delievered a blow upon Marius that he too went sprawling onto the ground.

I turned and crawled over to Fulcinia who wrapped her arms around me protectively. Lancelot rose to stand by Arthur's side as Arthur held Excalibur to Marius throat making his nasty guards come to his defense.

"My lord!" they cried while withdrawing their swords but Marius upon seeing the anger in Arthurs eyes stopped them.

"When we get back to the wall, you shall be punished for this heresy" he muttered darkly. Arthur was not fazed and pressed the tip of his sword a bit more as he glared down into his eyes with his own burning in anger.

"Perhaps I shall kill you now and seal my fate" he remarked menacingingly. I slowly rose to my feet with the help of Fulcinia as Lancelot came to my side and I rested against him for strength as Arthur turned towards a monk that stepped forth.

"I was willing to go with them, for you see it was gods wish that these sinners be sacrificed. To be brought forth towards the holy kingdom" he explained creepingly. I cowered behind Lancelot who held my hand tightly within his own as he glared at the monk but then Arthur shocked us all.

"Then I shall grant his wish" he stated as he turned away for a moment. The monk turned towards us smugly as I stared at Arthur in disbelief but then his next belted order took us all by surprise.

"Wall them back up" he remarked calmly as he strolled towards Fulcinia, Lancelot and I and took me within his arms as he hugged me gently to not hurt me as he murmured what I longed to hear for so long.

"My darling sister I have missed you so" he whispered lovingly. I felt the waves of blackness slowly threatingly to overcome me but before they did I murmured my response.

"I have also my dear brother" then I slumped into his arms as I heard his cry of alarm and Lancelot's orders that we needed to get out of here and I rested in the moments of blackness.

Lancelot's point of view...

I couldn't believe she was alive and safe within the cradle of my arms where I sensed her strength was still strong but yet she was very much weak but she was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

Upon losing her I had become a walking ghost among the lands we lived upon. The other knights had felt the same but no one held the intensity of the pain as Arthur and I had over the loss of her but more then the loss was the guilt that racked us till even now over not being able to find her and bring her back to us but now here she was in my arms, gazing within my eyes with the deepest brown eyes I had ever seen. The insanity went on around us but my attention was entirely on her.

Arthur now holds her within his arms and murmurer's within her ear but then she slumped into his arms causing him to cry out in alarm but I quickly ordered that we needed to leave quickly and Arthur swept Shirin into his arms and set her within the carriage that we had also placed the other young woman and the boy and quickly set off. I rode along side Arthur but yet my thoughts were on the pretty brunette that lied in the carriage. My only thought was to get her to safety, no matter the cost for I couldn't loose her again, I wouldn't even be able to bear it and at that thought I became angry.

This wasn't her fight to be put through, tis was ours, I wasn't about to loose her again to this manstrosity and I planned on making that known.

I rode over to Arthur who gazed down at the valley below as the snow began to fall a bit more as I stared out at the valley below and I turned to face him.

"We are needing to move more quickly, were wasting our time with these people. The girl is not going to make it and neither is the boy" I remarked. Arthur turned to me briefly.

"We will not leave them here" he remarked calmly. Gritting my teeth in anger I lashed out. "If the Saxons come we will have to fight" I shot back, trying to make him see reason. Arthur turned to me with a arched eyebrow a bit surprised at my display of anger.

"Then save your anger for them" he answered. I stared at him in surprise at his cool demenour. "Is this Romes quest or Arthurs?" I wondered. Arthur sighed as he shifted in his seat upon his horse.

"Lancelot I dont wish to put anyone else in danger. I understand that you are worried about Shirin but I promise you that no harm shall come upon her anymore" he remarked passionately. I sighed for I knew that Arthur loved his little sister dearly and meant no harm. I turned my horse but looked back at Arthur once more.

"I am going to go see her, will you not come also?" I asked. Arthur looked back out towards the valley but turned towards me once again.

"You go and I shall come later" he remarked. I merely nodded as I went towards the carriage and entered it seeing Dagonet sitting next to the boy but looked up as I entered.

"Dagonet how is he faring?" I asked. Though I didn't feel the boy had any right to come along I was concerned. Dagonet seemed to have a fondness for the boy now.

"He burns. Brave boy" he muttered fondly. I merely smiled then moved towards Shirin. Dagonet looked over his shoulder towards me.

"She had awakened and quickly fell back asleep but she asked for you my friend" he remarked with a bit of a tease. I ignored it as I kneeled next to her as I watched her sleep. I took her cold hand within my own but noticed that it was bandaged up, startled upon not spotting this before I wondered why her hand was bandaged to begin with then I heard her stir and I looked to see that she was waking up.

Back to my point of view...

I slowly felt the cloud of blackness lift and I blinked against the light that wanting to come forth and I felt my hand being held within a warm one. I opened my eyes and squinted to rest on Lancelot as he smiled down at me.

"Well our sleeping beauty has awakened. How are you faring?" he asked concernly. I smiled at him as I realized that I was truly safe in this carriage by Lancelot and Arthur's side.

I pressed my good hand against his bearded cheek and took pleasure at feeling his warm skin under my cool one, apparently he was enjoying it as well for his eyes closed as if he were savouring the moment.

"I-I missed you terribly Lancelot that I felt that I wasn't about to go on yet your memories is what kept me going. The mere thought of renuiting with you, my brother and my fellow knights is something I clung too" I admitted. He sighed as he brought my bandaged hand up and my eyes widened at him discovering my hand. I looked at him as he gazed at me questioningly. I whimpered a bit as he slowly and gently unwrapped my hand and saw that my fingers were completely out of place then raised his shocked gaze to meet my saddened ones.

"I must set your fingers back in place for there may be a chance that you may never be able to use them again" he explained. I wanted to disagree but I knew that he was right so I merely nodded and placed my other hand against his shoulder as I braced myself. Lancelot looked at me sympatically then he began to crack my fingers back into place causing me to cry out in pain but it pained him more to hear my cries of pain that me myself going through it then finally he cracked them all into place which caused me to cry out more as I buried my face in Lancelot's chest as he held me tightly as I breathed calmly now as I moved my fingers about. Lancelot made to rise when I gripped his shoulder.

"They tortured us...with machines. Wanting us to speak of matters we knew not of" I murmured hollowly. Lancelot just listened as I told him of the horrors I experienced then I began to cry softly within his chest as he held me tightly to him, afraid to let me go.

"I am so terribly sorry Lancelot, I came to find you and Arthur when I was taken captured" I remarked. He looked down at me.

"By Marius" he stated but I shook my head. He looked at me questioningly as I sighed then leaned my head upon his shoulder.

"By the Saxons" I murmured. I shuddered at the thought of it and Lancelot pulled back to search my face as I caught to surprised expression.

"D-did they..." he trailed off as he feared to voice what he was worried about but I knew what he was getting out and I put his fears to rest.

"No they did not rape me but as I fought one off he delivered a blow about my belly that left quite a nice scar" I explained.

Lancelot's eyes darkened in anger at the mere thought of someone daring to touch me but him and I inwardly smiled at seeing a bit of his jealous side.

"Let me see" he ordered gently. I shook my head. "Lancelot it matters not, main matter here is all is well. I have returned to you all" I remarked. He went to look himself but I stopped him as I gave him a stern look.

"Lancelot you and Arthur were my trainers in becoming a warrior. I used the tools you have taught me and fought him off yet I was wounded. Tis no different then what you do but do not dispair for I have defended myself all this time I have been away from you" I explained.

The way his muscles were twitching in his jaw was telling me that he was trying to keep control of his temper and I sighed for when it came to me his temper seemed to rear its ugly head. Lancelot looked over at Guinevere as she stirred and made it seemed that she wasn't listening to our conversation. I searched his face but he merely shut down as he rose.

"You need to rest, I shall be outside if you wish to speak to me" he explained as he turned before I could say another word and headed outside and got on top of his horse once more. I sighed, frustrated beyond all belief.

"It seems he loves you very much. He merely wishes to protect you Shirin" came Guinevere's comforting voice. I glared over at her.

"Guin you know as well as I that we are no damsels in distress. I am a knight for goodness sakes! He treats me a bit like a child at times!" I railed off. I seethed at his need to be so egotistical at times.

I heard Guinevere chuckle in amusement and I turned to look at her none the friendly. "What pray tell is so humorous?" I asked testly. She shrugged then settled as someone else came entering the carriage and I saw that it was Arthur. We merely gazed at one another and my eyes began to well up, much to my disgust, with tears.

He gazed at me with guilt racking eyes as he drank me in then he walked over to me and took me within his arms but I gladly went with a cry of happiness.

"Oh Arthur, my dear brother. What is this I see? Lines of age have begun to appear brother, what ally's you?" I wondered. He shook his head and gave me a bright smile.

"Nothing at the moment for I am rejoicing in the fact that my baby sister is alive and safe within my arms again" he remarked. I smiled through the tears then he smirked at me gently when he pulled to look at me.

"Seem's you have upset Lancelot" he remarked. I merely rolled my eyes as I ran a frustrated hand through my hair as I looked at him.

"Seem's I do that quite a bit to everyone" I remarked lightly. Arthur cupped my cheek and made me look at him while his eyes glistened with love.

"You have never been a burden nor a baggage. You are a true blessing to us all little one" he murmured as he cradled me gently within his arms.

"Do not take him as someone that treats you as a child, you know as well as I that Lancelot has always treated you as a equal. He cares deeply for you as I know you feel for him, feelings that run deeper then brother/sister ship" he continued teasingly.

I blushed as I meant not too but I gave him a smile none the less. I saw Arthur's gaze rest upon Guinevere's and I smiled seeing that Arthur finally perhaps found someone that he will be able to connect with. I saw him walk over to her but Guinevere gazed at him heatedly as he reached for her wrapped up hand and I realized that Lancelot must of mentioned about our hands to Arthur.

Making sure that I wasn't being watched I slipped over to the young boy who's name was Lucan and pressed my hand against his forehead to see how he was faring and saw that it had cooled down a bit much to my relief then grabbing a fur blanket that was close to his bed I wrapped it around me and settled myself at the opening of the carriage seeing the lightly fresh snow. I spotted Galahad who sat upon his horse next to Gawain, I gave a low whistle and the both turned and upon seeing me rode over.

"You are well I see but never had I imagined that you were so beautiful" remarked Galahad glantily. I smiled then I took his hand that he held out towards me.

"We've missed you little one, so much actually that I admit we were lost without you" he remarked gently. I never realized what kind of pain I had inflicted upon them that it made the guilt I already held raged even more.

Gawain must of sensed my dispair for he glanced straight in my eyes which was a tad bit difficult for his horse was quite feisty.

"This is not your fault little one. You were taken and had you means of returning would have" he remarked. I felt the tears well up again and I cursed myself for this mere sign of femininity that seemed to show up often.

I looked over at Lancelot who rode along side Bors and Dagonet and seeing the slump in his shoulders I knew that he was upset. I looked back towards Gawain and Galahad that gave me comforting smiles. I smiled back and rested against the pole as sleep seemed to overcome me and with thoughts of my knight I succumed myself to it.

A little while later I awokened at seeing Lancelot staring at the beautiful sight before him with his back towards me. I sighed at the sight myself for it never seized to amaze me.

"It's beautiful is it not?" I asked softly. He turned his head a bit at my voice but kept looking as he merely nodded then he turned to face me and I caught the trace of guilt, hurt, anger and even to my own surprise, love. He gave me a mild grin as he scoffed and his horse repeated his movement as well. I stared at him then glanced back towards the sight before me.

"This is heaven for me, upon being at the wall I loved watching this mere sight" I explained. Lancelot cocked his head to the side.

"I dont believe in heaven, I've been living in this hell but if your what heaven looks like then take me there" he remarked. I stared at him in surprise at his confession then turned away from his burning brown eyes but then I saw that it begun to rain much to my dispair. Lancelot held his hand up as he closed his eyes and let his head hang back as he let the rain wash over him then he looked at me once again.

"Rain and snow at once...a bad omen" he remarked mysteriously. I gazed at him with guilt lightening my eyes as I begged him to forgive me but then he nodded me over as he brought his horse by my side. I rose and gently with his help slid into the saddle within the warm cradle of his arms as I rested my head against his chest, hearing the pounding of his heart.

"I am not angry at you little one just angry over the pridicement you have been in. I wasn't there to protect you as much as you dont want to hear such a comment but tis true" he murmured passionately.

I closed my eyes as I let his warm voice wash over me but I caught the pain within them as I took his hand within my own and saw the scar that ran along the back of one but I heard his light chuckle.

"Recognize this do we?" he asked lightly in my ear. I merely nodded as I traced the scar with a heavy heart. I had inflicted that when I had thought it was a intruder coming into my tent one night and I took my dagger and ran it for a nice little slit on his hand until I realized that it was Lancelot's hand, I had wracked with guilt even till now but I understood how Lancelot had felt when he had inflicted his wound upon me.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Lancelot made his way towards the carriage once more.

"You better sit back at where you were seated or Guinevere, Arthur and Fulcinia will have my head" he remarked. I smiled as he

began to act like the Lancelot I knew and loved. I meekly nodded as Fulcinia looking at Lancelot disapprovingly at having pulled me in

the rain with him while Lancelot meekly dropped his head.

"Forgive me milady, I wasn't aware. I have made sure she returned to gain her rest" he explained. I turned to see the twinkle of humor

within Fulcinia's eyes as she grasped my arm within her own as she pulled me within the warmth of the carriage as she merely nodded at

Lancelot.

"Sir Lancelot fear not. I am merely wanted you to be aware of Shirin's condition" she explained lightly. I smiled at seeing her loosening

up a bit around the knights. Lancelot gave a nod as he turned his horse to ride by Arthur's side but turned to seek me out again while I

longingly gazed at him as well. He nodded at me with a smile then rode towards the other knights.

My heart swelling with happiness and love I turned to see Guinevere and Fulcinia sitting there with matching smirking expressions with

arms crossed.

"What goes here? What has happened to the calm girl we know?" asked Guinevere teasingly. I blushed but with a giggle I settled my

head in Fulcinia's lap as she fondly brushed down my hair as I gazed at Guinevere.

"Oh Guin I never truly understood the meaning of the statement absence makes the heart grow fonder till now. I love him Guin, I love

him so much that its truly difficult to express and explain" I remarked. Guinevere gazed out the window with a dreamy expression on her

face then faced me once more.

"I understand what it is you feel" she remarked. I saw that she must of fallen for Arthur and Fulcinia and I shared a look and smiled

fondly. I rose and moved over towards her as she looked at me fearfully.

"Shirin believe me when I say that I feel deeply for you brother" she started but I stopped her. I took her face within my own hands as

I gazed within her eyes and saw that she truly felt that way.

"I believe you Guin just make me this promise that you will not hurt him or lead him astray" I pleaded. She nodded and I kissed her

forehead in a sisterly manner then I saw Arthur ride up next to the carriage for we had stopped.

"We shall spend the night among the tree's. Are you both alright?" he questioned as he glanced briefly at Guinevere but I nodded.

"Tis alright with me" I remarked. He nodded shortly as he turned his horse to go speak amongst the other knights then we began to

get ready to settle for the night.

Later on that night...

Fulcinia remarked that Guinevere and I bath to wash away the grim and dirt that covered us from the days we had spent in that hell. I

went first as Fulcinia help me remove my clothing and handed my clothes to Guinevere to burn for they were useless now then handed me

a cloth to cover my body for modesty sake. I closed my eyes in pleasure as I felt the warm water began to make me clean once more

and I heard Fulcinia's gasp of shock as she spotted the scars on my back from countless battles that I had been among with my fellow

knights. She traced one that I had gotten from that devil saxon along side my belly and I closed my eyes briefly at the hatred that raged

within me at the mere thought of that man. I had vowed that I would find him and kill him upon what he had put me through.

Not entirely lost in thought I sensed that I was being watched and I glanced briefly to my left to see Lancelot standing there trying not

to be caught yet his eyes met mine and I recognized the guilt, pain, love and lust within them as he watched me. I knew that I should of

been offended at being watched yet my body tingled with pleasure at his warm gaze. He looked away to not make it seem that he was

watching but his eyes seeked me out once more then he completely turned away and moved towards the knights. I watched dejectedly at

his quick depature, no doubt disgusted with the way my body looked but what I didn't know was that he had begun to desire me as he

stood there watching. Fulcinia yanked gently on my hair which fell in waves of curls around me like a dark blanket. "Girl where are your

thoughts? You are done, tis Guinevere's turn but here is a gown that should fit you the best that it is able" she explained as she handed me

a beautiful red gown with gold lacing along the open sleeves and bottoms of the dress. With a thankful smile I took it and dressed within it

nearly purring at the warm feeling which it offered me. I snatched a black cloak that lay by my undergarments and slipped those on as

well as I held the cloak within my hands then I made to go find Lancelot as he sat against a tall, strong tree. Hearing my approach he

glanced up then upon seeing me he nodded me over to sit beside him, I walked over shivering slightly which he noticed and took the

cloak that I held within my hands and wrapped it around us both as I snuggled by his side.

"What was it like? Your home?" I asked softly as I took his strong hand within my own but Lancelot made to interlock our hands

instead.

"We sacrificed goats, drank their blood, dance naked round fires" he joked lowly causing me to chuckle slightly as I looked up into his

eyes as he chuckled as well. He smiled down at me, taking pleasure at hearing my laughter.

"Tis wonderful to hear you laugh once more" he murmured fondly. I nuzzled his face with the side of my cheek as he sighed in content

then he pulled back slightly as he became serious suddenly and brushed a lock of hair out of my face.

"What I do remember...Home...Oceans of grass from horizon to horizon, further then you can ride. The sky bigger then you can

imagine" he explained wistfully. He gazed straight into my eyes. "No boundaries" he finished. I searched his eyes, at his longing. I looked

away before I completely lost myself within his dark orbs. "This is what some would call freedom. This is what they fight for" I explained

gesturing around me, indicating the Woads that my brother and my fellow knights have been fighting for years.

"Their people, their land. The right to choose one's destiny. Were alot alike you and I Lancelot" I murmured. He sighed and stroked

my cheek, seeing the pleading in his eyes that he did not wish to discuss this matter further so the matter was put aside.

"And when you return home, will you take a wife? Have sons?" I asked casually. He snorted then looked me straight into my eyes.

"I've killed to many sons. What right do I have to my own?" he wondered. I gazed at him sympatically then I brushed a lock of curl out

of his face as I pressed the palm of my hand against his cheek.

"No family, no religion. Do you believe in anything at all?" I wondered lightly. Apparently it was the wrong question to ask for his eyes

darkened in guilt and sadness as he rose making me frown at his sudden change in manner. He turned away from me as he ran a hand

through his hair clearly frustrated then turned to face me.

"I would of left your friend and boy there to die" he remarked brokeningly. My face paled a bit at his confession but deep inside I

knew that Lancelot was a loving, warm man. I moved forth with my hands outstretched but he merely backed away and turned to go by

the other knights as I watched sadly at his rejection once more.

("Oh my darling Lancelot, do not dispair for you will find your true destiny") I merely thought as I turned with my shoulders slumped in

frustration and went by Guinevere's side. When I rested my head against the bark of the tree I listened to Guinevere's plan of having

Arthur hear Merlin out. I turned to her with a tortured look upon my face.

"Guin I'm not sure that my brother would go along with this, he hates Merlin for he believe that he is the cause of losing his mother" I

murmured.

Noting my saddened demenour she became defense. "What has he said to you?" she asked. Knowing that she spoke of Lancelot I held

up my hand to fend of the arguement that was due to come.

"Guin tis not his fault. He's merely frustrated" I explained. Her eyes softened as she realized that I was quite capable of taking care of

myself. I rose from my perch and glanced at Guinevere.

"I want no part in this Guin. Please do not make him distrust you completely" I remarked. She merely nodded as she reached out to

embrace me and I squeezed her to me then I turned to go get some sleep but what I didn't know that tomorrow would chang all of our

lives completely.


	3. The moment of understanding

Chapter 3:

In the morning...

I woke up and stretched, ready to start a whole new day and curious to see what had progressed last night. Rising I

went towards a satchel that lay on the floor of the carriage. I peek within it to see a pretty dagger and as I looked it over

I saw to my surprise that it was my own dagger. I smiled to myself lightly.

"Thank you Lancelot" I murmured apperciativly. I strapped it to my thigh, under my dress then exited out of the

carriage to survey the area and wondered what everyone was upto. I saw that Gawain and Galahad laid close to the

now dimmed fire, still very much fast asleep. Bors must of risen for I didn't see him as well as Tristan, Arthur and

Lancelot.

I watched amused at Gawain and Galahad then I heard a shout of anger and my head snapped over to the side

of camp where I last saw Dagonet and Lucan were asleep. Sprinting towards the sound of the fray I froze in my tracks

at the sight of Dagonet fighting off at least ten men that began to advance upon him. I looked around frantically for

Lucan and saw to my horror him being held fast by Marius.Feeling anger race through me I grabbed a sword that had

fallen on the ground from a dead soldier and rushed towards Dagonet and began to help him fight off the rest of the

soldiers. I felt a sting of a sword slice along my shoulder but I spun with swiftness and cut the throat of the soldier that

had inflicted my wound.

"I have the boy!" Marius shouted warningly. I froze as I turned with the sword still within my grasp and I looked

over to see Dagonet glare hatefully at Marius for even touching the young lad.

I glared at Marius as well then a rustle to my left gained my attention and I saw Lancelot, Arthur and Guinevere

enter the scene and glare at Marius as well. Lancelot glanced at me briefly but my attention was on Lucan. Guinevere

now held a bow and arrow within her hands and I knew that Lancelot and Arthur had given it to her.

We all cautiously kept our eyes on Marius, I saw Fulcinia rush over to his side. "No! Leave him alone!" she cried.

Marius shoved her aside with a growl and she fell upon the ground. My blood boiled at his mere dismiss of his wife as

if she were a mere toy.

"Marius your nothing but a coward!" I cried out. His eyes snapped hatefully at me as he narrowed his eyes. "Why

you little bitch! How dare you!" he yelled.

I smirked at his anger for it was mild compared to my brothers. "What else would you call it? A man who hides

himself behind a mere child what is he if nothing else but a coward?" I remarked hotly. Guinevere had strunged her

bow back as Arthur and Lancelot unsheathed there swords. Lancelot holding his twin swords against his neck but I

saw that he had my back as I step forward to gain Marius's attention.

"Marius why not let the boy go? Why go down this path?" I asked. Marius sneered at my attempt to get his

attention else where.

"What? A mere whore dare give me words of wisdom?" he sneered cruely. I ignored it for he was trying to falter

me from the task I was intent on doing.

Marius glanced over at his guards. "Kill her!" he ordered. I heard the others yell out in protest and as a guard came

forth Guinevere shot out her bow which caught the guard in the chest which seemed to anger Marius even more.

"Kill them all!" he shouted. I yanked out the dagger which was hidden under my dress and let it fly, hitting him

right in the chest and he collasped on the ground, dead. Lucan free now, ran to Dagonet who pushed him under the

carriage with a soft "Down" as he stood up with a sword in hand at any of the other soldiers daring them to come forth.

I stepped forth to get my dagger and saw Lancelot glance at me amusingly. "Your hands seem to be better" he

remarked. I just gazed at him briefly then my attention turned as I heard thundering hooves and Bors riding.

"Arturious!" he yelled. He rode up towards the guards, glaring down at them. "Do we have a problem? Huh?" he

inquired. I looked over at Arthur who pointed his sword towards one of the guards that seemed to be in charge.

"You have a choice. You help or you die" he pointed out simply. I smirked at the no nonsense in my brothers

voice then I walked over towards Guinevere who glanced at Arthur admiringly. I smirked at the picture she made stand-

ing there.

Bor's horse nudged the soldier who quickly threw his weapon upon the ground then looked at his fellow soldiers.

"Put down your weapons" he ordered. Then when they hesitated he ordered again and they threw them down, Arthur

turned towards Jols who nodded and began to gather the weapons just as Tristan rode up, Bor's looked at him.

"How many did you kill?" he asked curiously. Tristan rode past. "Four" he answered. Bor's grinned at us all and I

couldn't help but smile.

"Not a bad start to the day!" he remarked laughing. I laughed out as well and I saw Lancelot and Arthur look over

at me with a bit of a smile at seeing me smile and laugh once again. I pressed my hand against my chest and held up

my fist.

"Bor's! Rus!" I cried out. Bor's pressed his fist against his chest as well and returned the battle cry. I chuckled as

I walked over just as Tristan dropped a cross brow at Arthur's feet.

"Armor piercing. There at close range, we have no time" he explained breathlessly. I hide my alarm quite well at

that point then I saw Arthur get his commander side once again, looking pointingly at Tristan.

"You ride ahead" he ordered which Tristan merely nodded and rode off. Arthur turned to Lancelot. "Get all of

them set to depart" he remarked. I saw Lancelot nod as he turned to do just that when he caught my eyes. I wondered

if he could see the longing within my eyes. He merely nodded at me with a bit of a admiring smile then he turned and

departed to do his task.

I walked over towards Fulcinia who was helped towards the carriage that her and Alecto sat within. I pressed my

hand against her cheek.

"Are you alright?" I asked concernly. She nodded but then glanced down at my arm. "Your hurt" she remarked. I

glanced down at my shoulder to see the cut that the soldier gave me run along side my arm but I looked back up at her.

"Worry not for this is minor. Now go ahead I am quite fine" I remarked. She nodded then entered the carriage, I

turned towards Guinevere who walked towards me.

"We have weapons in needs of defense and may I add my dear friend you have a beautiful sword" she complimented. I smiled for that

was her way of saying well done.

I saw Galahad walked towards me with my dagger in hand and he handed it to me. "Milady I have retrived your dagger and cleaned it for

you" he remarked galantly. I laughed then I saw Gawain walk over as well.

"Milady will thou ride with me?" he asked dramatically. I barked out in laughter at the way they were being comical

then Galahad turned towards me with a dropped face.

"You had but promised to ride with me milady" he remarked then Gawain stepped forth. "No she shall ride with

me" he announced then he turned towards me. "You will wont you?" he asked. I shook my head as I laughed at them

both then I took my dagger from Galahad.

"Oh fair knight I thank you kindly for retriving my dagger but I believe I'll ride with...Bor's" I remarked as they both

stood dumbfounded as I sautered towards Bor's as he and Dagonet shook with laughter at the mere dismiss of their

fellow knights. I glanced back at Galahad and Gawain to see there shocked expressions but I blew them a kiss which

placed a smile on their faces again then as I went to climb onto Bor's horse Lancelot came riding over by our side

and glanced at me.

"Milady will you allow me the pleasure of your company?" he asked sweetly. I looked over at him and saw that he

wanted me to be by his side. I realized that we needed to talk. I looked over at Bor's.

"I promise you the next journey Bor's" I remarked. He merely nodded with a bit of a smile at both Lancelot and I

I walked over and saw Lancelot glance down at my wound and he looked at me sharply.

"You are wounded and you say nothing?" he asked gently. My eyes flashed at him warningly then I sighed. "Oh

for goodness sakes Lancelot if it bothers you so then why dont you tend to it?" I asked sarcastically. His eyes

narrowed dangerously then he took a torn cloth from somewhere then look about him and picked up some snow,

pressing it against my shoulder and I hissed at the stinging sensation much as I wanted to hold it back then saw the

satisfied look upon his face along with his cocky smile. I narrowed my eyes at him defiantly.

"You smile as if you won some great battle" I remarked. He chuckled then he took the torn cloth and wrapped it

around my cut then making sure it stayed in place he then turned to me.

"I believe you shall live" he remarked. I nodded my thanks then I went and got up onto the horse as he swung up

behind me then he kicked the horse so that we could move on. The whole ride was a quiet one but then I decided to

break it.

"Lancelot tell me what is it that I have done wrong? Have I wronged you somehow?" I asked desperately. I hated

this not speaking to one another. I heard his sigh then he wrapped a arm around me and pressed me closer to his

warm body and I closed my eyes in pleasure at his smell that settled over me.

"You have done nothing wrong Shirin, tis I! I who as your...your..." he couldn't even seem to form a sentence at

the moment and it was perfectly clear to why. I sighed at this playing back and forth. We rode the rest of the way in si-

lence once again which seemed like our only purpose then we reached a clearing where it was nothing but ice. I stared

in horror as Lancelot swore softly then I turned to Arthur who stood by Tristan.

"Is there any other way?" he asked of him. Tristan shook his head mournfully. "No we have to cross the ice" he

remarked. I took a sharp intake of breath then I glanced at Lancelot who caught the fear upon my face but then he took

my hand and gave it a quick squeeze. I gave him a apperciative smile then turned my attention back to Arthur.

"Get them out of the carriages. Tell them to spread out" he ordered. We merely nodded and we did just that. We

got them out and began to spread out along the ice which moaned and groaned under feet. I could hear the distant

drumming in the distance and I didn't know which frightened me more, the drums or the ice. I could hear the horses

snicker in fright at the ice but I saw the knights calm them down. People around us murmured nervously at walking

along such treacherous territory. I looked over at Guinevere who stood at arm length from me. As we moved

more we saw that the ice moan and groan more. Arthur halted in his movements then with a mournful sigh turned and

glanced at each of us.

"Knights..." he started mournfully. I knew what he was getting at, we all did. Bor's stepped forth first. "Well I'm

tired of running and these Saxons are so close behind that my ass is hurting" he remarked. Tristan turned with a bit of

a grin on his face.

"Never liked looking over my shoulder much" he remarked. Gawain commented next. "Be a pleasure to put an

end to this racket" he exclaimed and Galahad followed. "And finally get a look at the bastards" he remarked. Dagonet

stepped forward with his horse as he grinned.

"Here. Now" he remarked. Arthur looked at Lancelot and I. I narrowed my eyes as I glanced over my shoulder

then I turned to face Arthur.

"I have my own settlement that I choose to go forth with" I remarked. Arthur arched his eyebrow in question but

now wasn't the time to see as to why. He looked over at Lancelot who shooked his head yet finally nodded.

Arthur turned towards Jols and nodded which caused Jols to jump into action and turned to few of the Roman

soldiers.

"You two take the horses" he ordered and the men began to jump into action. I glanced over towards the satchel

where our weapons laid and going through it began to sort it among us. I picked up my bow that I had for so long and I

felt tears of apperciation well up but I quickly urge them away as I glanced at Lancelot.

"I suppose I have you to thank?" I asked amusingly. He gave me his trademark smirk. "I suppose but what shall

the reward be?" he asked teasingly. I smiled at our light banter regardless of the situation.

I looked over to see Ganis talking with Arthur and I strolled over towards him as I overheard Arthur give Ganis a

order.

"Ganis I need for you to lead the people. The main Saxon army is inland so if you track the coastline until your

well south of the wall, you'll be safe" he explained. Ganis looked up at my brother worriedly and concernly as he

looked about him.

"But you eight against 200 men!" he protested. I walked over but saw Guinevere stroll over, bow in hand.

"Nine, you could use another bow" explained Guinevere calmly as she walked past. Upon seeing my brothers

shocked expression I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing and keep a straight face. Ganis protested once again.

"I rather stay and fight" he admitted. I smiled at the courage and determination the young man had but I felt as

did Arthur that his place at the moment was to lead these people to safety. I walked over and placed a hand upon his

shoulder.

"You'll get your chance soon enough" I remarked softly. He gazed at me and I gave him a encouraging smile and

he nodded in agreement and seemed to take to heart my comment. I patted his shoulder once again. Alecto waltz up

to Arthur as well.

"I am able. I can fight" he announced bravely. I looked at him with a bit of admiration for he hadn't completely

been corrupted, he still held a heart. Arthur looked over at me with a questioning expression and I caught what he

meant that if we should allow him to stay or better that he go along with the others but then Arthur made his desicion

and placed a hand upon Alecto's shoulder.

"No you must bear witness to all that you have seen, there's one thing you must do and thats to get back to Rome"

he told him as he searched within his eyes to see that he understood what he was saying as he patted his cheek

fondly.

I turned and walked back towards the group but then I felt Arthur place a hand upon my shoulder, halting in my

step I looked at him questioningly. Arthur gazed within my eyes then quickly leaned in and placed a kiss upon my fore-

head then gave me a slight smile as he caught sight of my surprised reaction towards his tender move.

"Be safe little one and for all our sakes make it out alive" he murmured fearfully. I nodded and gave him a hug as

we held one another tightly then we brokeapart and began moving towards the group that were ready for battle. My life

had always held this moment, a moment of battle, a moment that consist of wondering if my family would make it out

alive. I sighed inwardly as I prayed to god to allow us to make it out alive.

I walked over towards Guinevere and Lancelot and stood on the left side of Lancelot as I gathered my bow and

arrow, he glanced over at me and walked over towards me as he also kept a eye in the direction to where the drums

sounded from. He cupped my cheek and I closed my eyes as the touch of his rough, calloused hands that held the

roughness from years of wielding a sword, battle and rough work.

"Dont you dare leave me again, I wont be able to bear it if you did" he remarked passionately. My eyes widening

at his sudden display of passion yet mingled along the lines of concern and fear that he will have to go through the hell

of once before.

To put his mind at ease I pressed my hand against his cheek then I leaned in and not caring if the others were

watching I pressed my lips against his soft lips then just as he went to deepen the kiss I pulled back and gave him a

brave smile.

"I have to say the same to you but fear not for I do not believe we are finished here my dear Lancelot" I merely

whispered. He nodded with a sad smile but taking my hand in his he brought it up to his lips as he kept his eyes upon

me and I dearly wanted to tell him how much I loved him and how I much I truly cared for me but now wasn't the time

nor the place.

He moved into position and we all held our weapons in hand and ready as the decending footsteps came closer. I

looked over as I heard Lancelot chuckle lowly as he addressed Guinevere.

"You look frightened. There's a large number of lonely men out there" he remarked. Guinevere and I smirked at

one another and I spoke up first.

"Do not worry" I remarked. Guinevere continued. "We wont let them rape you" she finished. We merely gave one

another smiles but that was short lived as the saxons got closer. I could feel the wound that had been inflicted by one

man mingled in that army began to throb but I merely ignored it. The time would come where I would have my chance.

I could feel the anticipation boiling within all of us as they appeared from the other side of the ice. I could feel the

coldness seeping off of them and washing over me and I refrained from shuddering as we held our ground.

Arthur stood calmy yet I knew that he was raging a war within himself at what was about to come about but he had

mine, Guinevere, Lancelot and other brothers in arms support.


	4. The Moment of Truth

Chapter 4:

We still stood upon the ice as we saw the saxon army advancing towards us. I saw one of the men draw his bow back and let it fire but it was to far out of range and apparently one of the men were pointing that out to there leader. Arthur smirked a bit then decided to give his order.

"I believe they're waiting for an invitation. Bor's, Tristan, Shirin" he remarked. I saw Guinevere turn with a surprised expression on her face. "They're far out of range" she protested. I merely gave a smile as I saw Lancelot smirk in my direction. "Do you believe you still can make it?" he murmured in question. I ignored the challenge within his voice as I readied my arrow to shoot as Bor's and Tristan did the same. I saw Arthur stare straight ahead then he spoke. "Fire!" he remarked. We did just that and let our arrow's fly witin the air and hit there targets as they began to fall

I turned with a smirk upon my face towards Guinevere who merely rolled her eyes and scowled. I turned back to the matter at hand and saw that they were still advancing, I looked over at Arthur who didn't seemed taken about, he too raised his bow.

"Aim for the wings, make them cluster" he ordered as we all began to fire. Arrow's flew through the air as they landed upon there targets and in confusion of not knowing what to do they did just as Arthur predicted they would do and that was to cluster together yet to my frustration they kept moving forward. They moved back into the ranks that they were in. I looked over at Arthur who saw the situation then I turned to Lancelot who looked at me for a second then turned back to concentrate on the situation at hand. I turned back just as Arthur barked out a order while looking towards the ice.

"It's not going to crack! Fall back! Fall back!" he yelled out in order as he took up his bow and arrow. "Prepare for combat!" he ordered. We held our arrow's in the air, posing to fire and I saw Dagonet grab up his sword yet as if he battled with himself on a certain matter, thought differently of it and threw it aside and picked up his axe instead and a wild roar he head towards the middle of the ice.

I stared after him in shock as Bor's decided to shout his name out instead. "Dag! Dagonet!" he cried. Arthur hid his alarm well yet it still shone in his eyes as he gave a barked order.

"Cover him!" he remarked. We all began to fire our arrows and a few managed to get a few soldiers yet as I fired away I felt something else had to be done. I had a brother in arm in middle of danger and I needed to do more.

With a growl of frustration I too threw my bow and arrow aside and with my sword and shield in hand I ran to go cover him as Arthur had said yet he as well as the others were taken by surprise.

"Shirin! Shirin!" I heard my name being shouted in protest. I ignored it and holding the shield in front of me I covered him as Dagonet swung deadly blows upon the ice, intent on shattering it and a one or two arrows got him in the chest. I watched in horror.

"Dagonet! No!" I cried yet I still held the shield. I felt a arm grasp my arm and pull onto Dagonet as well and upon turning saw that it was Bor's intent on getting us out.

"Ye trying to get yerselves killed?" he asked demandingly. Ignoring him I concentrated on getting Dagonet safe back to where he needed to go. I ducked as a arrow whized past me but then I heard the cry of my shooter and turned to see Lancelot with a satisfied expression on his face and I merely nodded then Dagonet let out another roar as he swung a powerful swing and cracked the ice to where it began to break apart.

I lost my balance and fell upon the ice just as I saw with his injuries and exaustion Dagonet slip into the icy, black lake. I didn't even think merely dove in after him, frantically swimming to get to him though the ice cold water stabbed me like a million knives yet I ignored it as I just thought to get to my friend. I felt the sting of both water and tears in my eyes yet I couldn't even stop to wipe them away.

("Dagonet dont you dare! Please I beg of you!") I pleaded. I felt his armor and grasping it begun to pull him up just as I felt Bor's wrap his arms around my waist and yank me up as well. With a gasp I broke the surface pulling Dagonet along with me and with Bor's help we got him back onto the solid ice.

"Dagonet stay with me!" pleaded Bor's. Not caring that I was soaking wet I turned to see the ice had completely zig-zagged towards the saxons and cracks opened and with yells of terror some slipped in towards there deaths.

Arthur ran towards us with Lancelot, Galahad, Guinevere, Tristan and Gawain having our backs. He slid next to us as he looked over Dagonet who was barely breathing yet he had a pulse but very faint then he turned towards me with a bit of angry expression on his face.

"Do you have any sense at all? What in gods name were you thinking?" he yelled. I then couldn't help myself I grinned as he stared at me with a increduclous expression.

"Woman you are truly mad" he remarked. I nodded in agreement then we didn't have much time to sit there and chit-chat as the ice began to advance.

Arthur and Bors began to drag Dagonet back as the others fired off arrows to keep our backs. I turned to run along with them when all of a sudden the ice gave away from underneath me and with a cry of alarm I felt myself go down much to the horror of everyone else.

"Shirin! No!" I heard Lancelot yell as I slipped into the black, icy oblivion down below. As once again the sudden cold that stabbed me all over. I felt my whole body go numb and my eyes closed as I gave myself in to the dark abyss that took over me.

Lancelot's point of view...

I saw to my relief Dagonet getting pulled away towards safety and my eyes turned towards Shirin, soughting her out and saw that she was quickly dodging to get back and I smiled inwardly but then my good fortune was short lived as the ice that she stood upon gave out from under her and with a cry of alarm she slipped into the black water. Fear over took me and I ran forth to reach her.

"Shirin! No!" I yell wrenchingly as I began to speed towards her slipping on the ice and without even thinking though I could hear my name being called by the others. I threw myself in the water and nearly gasped out in shock at how bitingly cold the water was but the warmth of needing to get to the woman that I loved and pleading with anyone that was able to listen to allow me to get to her and be allowed the chance to tell her how I truly felt. That I loved her and would die for her.

I felt my whol body going numb but as spark of energy hit me as I thought of her smiling face, her brightful laughter and more freshly the kiss that we shared and I prayed to what god there was that it wasn't the last time I would be able to kiss her.

I then found her as I brushed her fingertips and without even thinking I grasped her hand and yanked her up and with Gawain's and Galahad's help pulled her out as Gawain gave me a hand to pull me out as well. I took the hand gratefully and pulled myself up then I pushed past Galahad who had kneeled next to Shirin. Frantically I brushed the strands of wet hair out of her face and saw that her lips were blue.

Arthur dropped next to us as he gazed down at her with his mouth a slack but then we shared glances and with his nod I knew what I needed to do. I leaned forth and breathed my existance within her hoping that truly if there was a god that he would answer my all mighty prayer. I pulled back and saw to my terror that she hadn't woken up. I looked at Arthur desperately as he seemed like he once was before when he first lost her. I bit my lip then I leaned in and breathed into her once again then I pressed my lips against her ear.

"Shirin, I beg of you if you can hear my voice at the moment please open those beautiful brown eyes. I beg of you, I lost you once I refuse to do it again" I pleaded with her. The hitch in my voice apparent. Then as I breathed within her once again she began to cough up water and gasp for air.

I merely thanked whoever was listening and gathered her within my arms as I rocked her back and forth. I heard her whimper my name and I knew she was alright.

"Shirin tis me, Lancelot. I need for you to stay awake love. Please can you do that?" I pleaded. She merely groaned in reply.

Arthur looked over at me. "We need to fall back and get them to safety and a warm place" he explained. I nodded yet kept my eyes upon her. I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

Her head wallowed back upon her shoulders as I kept talking to her to make sure she stayed awake, I went along the stories of us being the sarmation knights as I made to keep her awake.

I turned with a glare towards the saxons for putting her in this predicement. I gathered her within my arms as we began to head back towards the direction the people we had sent earlier, I talked to her to make sure that she heard me and was kept awake.

"Shirin you must promise me that you shall stay awake" I ordered gently. She moaned a bit but I saw her struggling to stay awake. I smiled a bit yet inside my heart begun to pound frantically. Until I got her somewhere warm and safe I wasn't going to rest and until I lived I wasn't going to make those saxons rest either.


	5. The Truth Finally Be Told

Chapter 5:

A fog so thick havored over me that I wasn't wanting to wake up at all yet a cool, wet sensation washed over and I whimpered a bit.

"Tis alright sweetheart. Keep on resting. God knows that you are much need of it" came what sounded like Fulcinia's voice. I strained my ear to hear anymore but the dizzy fog would not lift much and I fell back into the mist of darkness yet a young knight in the back head always.

About a little while later...

A warm hand stroked the back of mine, softly and tenderly easing me to awaken. With a moan I stirred with that comforting stroke upon my hand. Then as if remembering something my eyes flew open and jumped awake but hissed at the pain that shot through me. Startled I felt someone's comforting hand upon my shoulder. I looked up into the comforting eyes of Guinevere.

"Oh thanks to god that you are alright" she breathed in relief. I blinked a bit at the light but then I gave her a comforting smile.

"You and my brother when it comes to your god. You both disturb me at times" I cracked. Guinevere smiled through the tears.

"I was so worried. We almost lost you but you are truly a hero for saving Dagonet" she remarked. I merely nodded but then at the sound of Dagonet I snapped my face back towards her as I made to rise.

"Dagonet! What goes with Dagonet?" I asked desperately. Guinevere physically had to hold me down to make sure I didn't strain myself.

"Do not worry Shirin, Dagonet is fine. He's resting as well as should you" she remarked. My head begun spinning at all of this, Guinevere noticed and pushed me back down.

"You need to rest" she strained on that statement. I shook my head, got up, swung my legs over the side as I rose from the bed ignoring the dizziness that overtook me.

"I must see for myself" I explained. Guinevere tried to plead with me but I ignored her as I made to move past her and made for the front of the carriage to get towards Dagonet when suddenly Lancelot stood before me.

"Pray tell milady where are you going?" he asked calmly. I glanced at him and made to move around him when the floor beneath me moved and I swayed yet Lancelot reached out and steadied me.

"Alright milady you need to rest" he ordered as he quickly swept me up within his arms and carried me back towards my bed just as Guinevere rose from the edge of the bed. She smiled comfortingly at Lancelot who merely nodded at her as he set me down upon the bed, I swallowed the lump in my throat as I gazed at him sympatically.

"Lancelot you need not worry, I got a bit dizzy tis all" I remarked. He smiled down at me as he brushed a lock of hair out of my face as he stroked my cheek.

"How do you fare? You feeling alright?" I remarked. I reached out and cupped his cheek, feeling his rough yet light beard under my hands and a tingle shot through me. He leaned in to kiss me while he held me tenderly.

"Well, well a moment you seem to never let past my friend" drawled a amused voice. We snapped out of our moment and turned towards the voice and I blushed upon seeing my brother there.

Lancelot merely smirked at my brother and his grip around me did not falter as he turned towards me. "Milday I make my leave" he remarked as I smiled.

He pressed a kiss upon my forehead and whispered within my ear as he gave me his trademark grin that made my heart all a flutter.

"We shall speak later" he murmured. I nodded and without thining I kissed his cheek as he smiled at me then squeezed my hand that was held within his own then he rose and shared a smile with Arthur, turned to me with a departing nod and smile then left outside.

I turned towards Arthur to see what his reaction was about whatever that Lancelot and I were, we've haven't had a chance to speak of which matter we stood with one another.

I gazed up at my brother, reaching out for his hand excitedly. He grasped my small hand within his big, strong one and I noticed the roughness, the evidence of years of work and battle. I stroked his hand gently as if afraid I would harm him somehow.

"I worried so about you Arthur" I murmured breathlessly. He gazed at me with tortured eyes then he reached out and gathered me within the comfort of his arms as I took in a shaken breath to keep my emotions under control.

"Dont you dare do that to me again, I cannot bear it if I loose you. You wish for my heart to stop beating? I agree with Lancelot, I will die if I loose you once again" he muttered brokingly. I felt tears welling up in my eyes at the thought I losing both Arthur and Lancelot. I kissed his cheek comfortingly then pressed my hand against his cheek.

"My dear brother I shall never leave you ever again, I love you to much to do so" I murmured. He nodded as he pulled away. A bit embaressed at showing his emotions so freely.

I gazed up at him with a smile as he brushed a hair out of my face then smiled deeply at me, he traced my face with his eyes.

"You look beautiful with each passing moon. So much like your mother" he remarked. I smiled then I grinned a bit mischeviously.

"Arthur with your permission may I go see Dagonet?" I asked. Desperately needing to see him, my brother in arms, to see how he fared.

I pleaded with my eyes towards my brother who merely smiled as he shook his head. "My dear sister, you seem so much like me" he remarked.

I nodded as I rose with his help then I quickly ran towards the entrance of the carriage and saw that Dagonet truly did fare well for he sat upon his horse much to my surprise. I glanced at Arthur who smiled at seeing the relief that was avident upon my face.

I slipped down noticing the gown that I downed seemed to be quite revealing for I noticed as I jumped down upon the cool ground that the knights and many of the other men that were around gazed at me with lustful eyes but it mattered not to me.

"Dagonet!" I squealed. He turned with a smile as I made to jump into his arms, he caught me within his arms as he hugged me to him.

"Ahhh little one I am so glad to see you well again, you are alright are you not?" he wondered. I nodded enthusastically. He chattered as I chattered back but was quite aware of intense brown eyes watching me and I turned to see Lancelot watching me intently.

Dagonet caught the look in my eyes as well as Lancelot's who seemed as if he wished to devour me but I merely smiled brightly then I turned towards Dagonet.

"I'm so happy that you are also well" I remarked. He smiled then he rode us over towards Lancelot and helped me to settle myself upon Lancelot's horse and within the warmth of his embrace. I saw Lancelot nod in thanks towards Dagonet as he nudged his horse gently towards a gallop so that we were a bit ahead of the others.

I watched as we past some trees that looked quite familiar. I gazed up at Lancelot and traced the outline of his strong face with my hand as he closed his eyes in pleasure.

He took my hand within his own. "God Shirin how do I tell you what hell I went through? I thought I almost lost you" he murmured brokenly. I heard the hitch in his voice and closed my eyes in pain at his matter of pain. I grasped his hand that held mine.

"For godsakes Lancelot tell me! Tell me what I longed to hear for so long!" I pleaded. He gazed down at me with tortured eyes yet a light of love shone within the deep chocolateness of his eyes. I searched his face and saw the answer there yet I wanted the comfort of his words.

He took a deep breath as he leaned in close towards my face to where we were only a breath apart from one another and inches away from kissing one another as he dug his hand in my hair, tracing my skin with his finger as I closed my eyes in pleasure.

"I love you Shirin Castus, I have always loved you" he admitted breathlessly. I smiled as tears of happiness welled up into my eyes, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me in a passionate kiss that raised a fire within my soul. I felt his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me into his lap as he kissed me back. I heard a round of appalause that sounded from the others as they rejoiced our unity yet not completely.

I whimpered a bit as he nipped the side of my mouth yet he chuckled in happiness as I giggled as I wrapped my arms around him in a tightened hug.

"I love you too Lancelot, I truly do and always have and shall always" I murmured. He grinned as he laughed out in happiness then he turned towards Arthur who merely nodded his approval yet his eyes held a serious glint that if he dared hurt his baby sister he would have to answer to him. Lancelot merely nodded.

Guinevere looked over at me with a happy smile and held tears in her eyes as she looked over at Arthur with the same gaze that I held for Lancelot.

I snuggled myself within Lancelot's embrace yet he gave a groan. Startled I looked at him concernly yet he gave me his trademark smirk.

"Milady if you keep moving about, your virgin eyes will be in for quite a surprise" he joked. My eyes widened in shock at his words and the evidence of the meaning beneath me yet I couldn't help to put truth to his words and I wiggled about causing him to growl warningly as he tightened his hold to keep me still.

"Shirin please stop for I dont want to have you this way. I wish to have you as my wife, as the way it was meant to be" he explained. I turned startled at his exclamation.

"Lancelot if I didn't no any better I would say that you are proposing" I remarked. He turned towards Arthur then turned towards me.

"Milady only if you'll have me" he remarked. I turned towards him. "Lancelot you will become a free man and tomorrow shall return to your home. What then?" I asked. Lancelot cupped my chin as he made me look within the depths of his eyes.

"I wish for you to return with me and become my wife. Together we shall make beautiful babys" he cracked. I giggled but I had to agree. I nodded in agreement and he kissed me again.

Never have I felt so alive, so free. The embrace of love that I had made to run away from had finally took claim of me and I saw that I would not have it any other way. If only it remained this way forever.


	6. The Truth Needing To Be Told

Chapter 6:

Lancelot and I spent the rest of the journey catching up on the times we had and battles we had fought together with the other knights. Side by side.

I was resting my head against his chest, listening to the beating of his heart and cherished the fact that we were given a second chance.

"Are you sleeping love?" he asked, his voice rumbling. I mumbled a response as I traced his armor with my fingers as I glanced up at him.

"I was but how can I when I'm in the arms of my galant knight? Hmmmm seem's though you need a bit of sleep Lancelot" I remarked. I looked at him closely, seeing the bags under his eyes of lack of sleep and fatigue.

I clicked my tongue that this would not do as I stroked his cheek and his eyes fluttered closed at my touch then he took my hand within his own, kissed the top of it gently.

"I shall sleep peacefully tonight with you by my side" he remarked. I smiled as I met his lips for a kiss. "Oh for goodness sakes please stop!" joked Bor's.

Lancelot and I brokeapart laughing as we looked over at Bor's who was smiling playfully and I merely stuck my tongue out at him. He pointed at me, blade in hand.

"THAT is not lady like" he remarked. I rolled my eyes as I answered. "Since when was I considered a lady?" I wondered. Lancelot playfully pinched my side making me squirm as I giggled then I turned as Arthur made a announcement.

"My dear sister. We are exceeding Hadrian's Wall" he remarked. I turned to see my home away from home approaching in the distance. I squealed excitedly. Lancelot smiled at my excitedness and handed me the reins as I looked up at him questioningly.

"Go! Ride him hard to get to home!" he remarked. I grinned, taking the reins within my hands as I straightened to ride then to my surprise Arthur rode up next to us with a smile upon his face.

"Shall we put a little bit of a wager. First one that reaches the wall shall make supper tonight" he wagered. I arched my eyebrow at him in surprise and annoyance for he knew how much I dispised cooking. I nodded to the challenge and I kicked Bear.

"Hyah!" I yelled as he shot forth. Lancelot gripped my waist as he hung on as I rode with Arthur right behind. I concentrated on getting towards the wall. Lancelot chuckled in my ear as we rode up towards the wall winning by a inch ahead while Arthur came right behind. I gave a whoop of joy at my win while Lancelot gave me a kiss then Arthur gave me a grin of pride.

"Ahhh and who did you learn that from after all?" he wondered. I grinned as I gripped Lancelot's hand. "My teacher sits before me dear brother" I shot back. The grin disappeared for a second then with a playful growl he jumped down and swept me off of the horse with a squeal of laughter. Arthur, Arthorious Castus began to tickle me to no end until I cried from laughing so and tears rolled down my rosey cheeks.

"Arthur stop! Please I beg of you, stop!" I pleaded laughing. He chuckled in amusement as I pleaded to Lancelot for held but he playfully replied.

"Sorry love your on your own with this matter" he remarked. I glared at him as he chuckled as well then finally Arthur let me go as I stood upon shaky legs then we began everyone else got off, Lancelot came over and swept me off my feet as I let out a squeal.

"Lancelot what on earth?" I started but I wasn't able to finish as Lancelot went to take me away when suddenly I saw to my horror Bishop Germanius coming forth. Patting Lancelot I pleaded with him to put me down which upon noticing my expression of fear quickly put me down as he cupped my cheek.

"Shirin what is wrong? Why do you look so frightened?" he asked concerned. I shook my head as I saw Germanius stepped forward, arms a stretched towards Alecto who seemed a bit scared himself and backed away as Germanius stepped forth to embrace him.

Lancelot saw the look upon my face as I stared at Germanius then I turned my fearful eyes upon Lancelot who stared at me concernly.

"Lancelot I shall go to my room, come forth there when you are done here" I remarked. One last look at the vile man and a comforting smile at Lancelot I took off. I felt the overwhemling tears threatening to overtake me as I rushed past a very happy and excited Vanora, a concerned Galahad and a questioning Arthur as I ran for my chambers which upon entering I noticed that it was kept the same.

I threw myself upon my bed as I struggled to calm myself yet when I thought about how that man gave me to the Saxons to get me out of the way. To not have a female sarmation knight in the band of brother and sisterhood that was formed. The same man that had torn me away from the man that I loved only to be reunited with him once more.

Raged build up within me at that thought that he would do this and I hoped that he got what he deserved one day yet as I laid there I felt exaustion setting in and I slowly fell asleep, wisked away to a calmer and warmer dreamers that I prayed that I never woke up from.


	7. The Moment of Glory or Doom?

Chapter 7:

I woke up with a start as about 30 minutes past pounding sounded upon my door. Groggily I got up from the bed to go answer the door, swinging it open to reveal Lancelot.

"What is the matter?" he asked automatically. I nearly smiled for even as a child he had always been there, my protector, second being Arthur and Galahad.

I gestured him in as I looked about me, he entered the room as I quickly shut the door then he grasped me gently and turned me around to face him.

"Please Shirin I beg you please tell what is wrong?" he asked once again. I cupped his cheek as I gazed at him with a comforting smile then I led him to my bed as we sat upon it.

"The reason behind my disapperance is in regards to the man before you, that holds your papers of discharge. In order to get me out of the band of brother of arms that I was with. He wanted no woman amongst the sarmation knights which it was he that left me out to be captured by the saxons then later by the woads" I explained calmly.

In the midst of all this we were not aware that someone was listening at the door and apparently quite intently until I heard a soft pound against the door then suddenly the door bursted open as a wildeyed Lancelot and I turned to see Arthur burst in, anger apparent in his face.

"The man did what?" he growled in question. I bit my lip at the anger that radiated off him as well as Lancelot who I saw also held the same expression as Arthur did.

I rose from the bed as I walked towards Arthur who had a murderous look upon his face. "That man has already taken two people that matter the most to me in this world. He will not get away with this" he growled. I raised my hand to his shoulder to calm him when I saw Lancelot rise as well with agreement towards Arthur's statement. I pleaded with them both.

"Please you two do not do anything that will put your lives in jeapordy. The matter has already proceded now we move on with life. What does it matter? We are reunited with one another. Please do not make this matter worse" I pleaded with them both as I looked amongst them both. Arthur was still seething as Lancelot seemed to slowly get ahold of his temper.

Arthur turned to me with fire within his eyes and I knew that it wasn't directed at me yet it made me a bit afraid at the fire within his eyes.

"As you wish milady but heed this my dear sister shall he come again with one wrong move I shall disperse him from this world. Understood?" he muttered. I merely nodded as I saw that he truly meant every word that he said for my brother was a man of his word.

His angry manner melted away as he suddenly swept me within the warm, strong cradle of his arms and I set my head upon his chest.

"All that matters to me at this moment is having my dear sister home where she belongs amongst her family" he remarked. I smiled up at him then placed a kiss on his cheek then leaned towards his ear.

"Take care of her my dear brother" I whispered. He pulled back as he gazed at me with a expression of confusion then I saw the light of realization spark in his eyes.

"My dear sister you mustn't worry about such matters" he remarked. He nodded over towards Lancelot who came towards me, losely wrapping a arm around my waist.

"Lancelot you shall always love, honor and cherish my sister will you not?" he asked Lancelot. Lancelot gave him a comforting look as he approached him.

"Arthur you are my brother, my best friend and soon to become my brother in law. You who know me best of all doubt that I will take care of her?" Lancelot wondered amusingly. Arthur smiled and clapped Lancelot on the back.

"I believe you my friend yet at the same time I pity you for she is your matter now" he joked. I gasped in mocked outrage as Lancelot couldn't help laughing. I smacked him gently on the arm as I turned to my brother.

"You two are both beasts. The thought that I was nothing..." I was cut off by Lancelot leaning in and kissing me into silence which completely took me by surprise for I wasn't expecting it. I heard Arthur's chuckle of amusement then I heard his footsteps of departer as he closed the door behind him leaving Lancelot and I alone.

Lancelot pulled back from kissing me as I stood there with my eyes closed and a smile curled on my lips as my eyes fluttered open to stare within his brown ones.

"I love you so Shirin Castus" he murmured. I felt the tears well up within my eyes as I kissed him once again then I pulled back and took his hand within my own as I pulled him towards my bed and I laid down and pulled him down next to me which he he stretched out next to me, seeing what I was upto. It wasn't that we were planning on doing anything then laying by one anothers side.

I laid my head on Lancelot's chest, listening to the thumping of his heart as he held me to him tightly. I felt him hum a tune that him and I only knew. Lancelot and I tried to write a tune for a song but had no luck yet a few lines which he sung now seeming to find the words.

"_This love truly is the answer which I search for, I have find the angel within my heart" _he crooned. My eyes fluttered closed at his warm voice as well as goosebumps popped up on my arms. His voice was like warm water washing over me and I just basked in it then I found myself humming along.

I felt his warm, calloused hands running over my arms, lightly brushing over my throat as I struggled to breathe for he seemed to be taking my breath away itself then slowly as he settled and I rested my head against his chest once again and slept peacefully within the warmth of his arms.

About an hour later we woke up to a sudden pounding upon the door. Jumping awake at the constant banging upon the door. Lancelot popped up with a curse just as Jols worried voice came through.

"Lancelot come to the wall! Quickly!" he urged. I heard the trace of worry in his tone and I looked at Lancelot with a worried expression upon my face. He merely swung his legs over the side of the bed and I rose as well as we rushed outside. Jols wasn't surprised to see me by Lancelot's side but other matters were at hand.

"Jols what is it? Whats the matter?" Lancelot asked. I felt a feeling of dread building up inside I didn't even bother listening to Jol's reply, grabbed the hem of my gown and took off running down the stairs with the footsteps of Lancelot and Jols right behind me and for a minute I thought I heard Lancelot chuckle.

We moved pushed past everyone as we rushed up the stairs of the wall and to my complete horror and Lancelot's alarm, fires set out no doubt the saxons finding us and camping out on our land. I blinked as I backed up a bit in shock at having our freedom put to these standards. Lancelot glanced over at Jols as he reached out and pulled me to him.

"Get Arthur!" he ordered gently. He turned back towards the sight. I saw Galahad, Gawain, Bors and Tristan come up the stairs as well staring at the disbelieving sight before them.

I gazed at them sadly for they just gained their freedom and the possibly of having to go back but I knew they wouldn't for they had their papers written that they were free.

"Make way! Make way!" came someone's voice as I turned to see Arthur and Guinevere come up towards us. I saw Guinevere look over the wall in shock as Arthur looked over the wall also with a pained expression and a bit of guilt then looked over at Lancelot, Gawain, Bors, Galahad, Tristan and I.

I felt the worriedness come over me as I gazed at my brother and I knew what he was planning and I step forward yet he stopped me.

"Knights my journey must end here, may you go freely and may god go with you" he remarked. He glanced over at Lancelot, Guinevere and I then spun on his heel and left. Lancelot and I shared a look before he took off after him and Guinevere and I took off after Lancelot and Arthur.

"Arthur do not do this! There is nothing here for you! This is not your fight! This is not Romans fight!" Lancelot pleaded with him. I grabbed my gown as Guinevere who was right behind me as well, went to catch up to them as Lancelot muttered something under his breath, I turned to Guinevere who shrugged then I heard Lancelot cry out.

"Look at me!" he shouted, grabbing Arthur and spinning him about to face him. "Does it all count for nothing?" he asked painfully.

Arthur looked at him then over Lancelot's shoulder to see me standing there a bit frightened at what the matter was going to come too. He looked back at Lancelot with disbelief written across his face.

"You ask me this? You who know me the best of all?" he asked a ting of hurt tracing his tone. I felt the tears of dread well up in my eyes as I knew what he was planning. He was planning on staying but seemed that Lancelot would have none of it.

"Arthur I beg you do not do this! For our friendships sake I beg of you! Only death awaits you here!" he cried passionately. Arthur seemed to disagree and placed a hand against Lancelot's neck as he made him look at him.

"Then be my friend now and do not dissuade me! Take your freedom and live it for the both of us, I cannot follow you Lancelot!" he strained to make sure his point was getting through. His tone softened as he gazed at Lancelot fondly.

"I know now all the blood I have shed, the lives I have taken have led me to this moment. I cannot follow you, I must stay but you, you take your newfound freedom and make a life for yourself" he remarked. He glanced over his shoulder and pointed me out to which Lancelot's eyes softened a bit upon seeing me. I felt the warmth spread through me at his gaze but then I shook my head at the matter at hand. Arthur patted Lancelot as he turned to sauter away to prepare for this battle, a battle that which wasn't of his own.

Lancelot who was frustrated ran a hand through his hair, I moved over towards him, taking his arm as he glanced down at me with painfilled eyes.

"I do not know what to do, I want to help him yet we have this newfound freedom" he remarked. I squeezed his hand then I turned to him with painfilled eyes, as he searched my eyes he frowned.

"What is it? You seem lost in thought" he remarked. I sighed as I cupped his cheek. Deep in my heart I knew that my duty laid with the man that I loved yet at the sametime my duty lied with my kin, my family and my commander none the less.

Lancelot saw the look in my eyes and shook his head in disbelief as he began to back away. I pleaded with him but he just raised his hands as if to ward off the pain that was sure to come as he gazed at me in shock.

"Do not tell me that you are remaining here? Please I do not wish to lose you too. The woman that I love to this madness, why are you..." he trailed off as I walked towards him once again, cupped his cheek then pulled him in for a kiss so passionate yet tender that it made my toes curl. He wrapped his arms around my waist as he yanked me to him kissing me back despertately, needingly which was rare for Lancelot for he had always been such a flirt, a ladies man but seemed that he was changing his ways.

I pulled away from the kiss as I gazed at him lovingly. "Lancelot I must stay. This is our land as well just as much as home, I must help him for he has no one else, he will drive himself mad if I do not. You must leave and I shall return to you, this I truly promise you" I remarked.

Lancelot shook his head as he backed away and I felt the first crack of my heart at his need to pull away then he looked at me sternly.

"Do you wish to know how it was like when I thought I lost you that first time? I died the day you disappeared Shirin, we all did, now you wish to put me through that...that...hell again?" he spated. I felt the ache and pain start within my heart at causing him and the others so much pain and now once again but I had to stay strong.

"Your lack of faith in me sir is a bit insulting" I muttered. He gave a snort then he ran a hand through his hair then I turned to him once more.

"Lancelot I love you, you and only you but also I believe I need to stand by my brothers side in this dark hour but I shall return to you" I remarked. He gazed at me sadly then without another word, he spun on his heel and stalked off leaving me to wallow in my guilt, grief and confusion on went wrong exactly. Head dropped in complete defeat I retreated to my room and prepare for tomorrow but I didn't know that tomorrow would be bring a whole new set of rules that would change the way of the game.


	8. The Showdown of No Other

**Chapter 8:**

**I decided that I wanted to train though yet I still felt a bit tired and strained. I walked towards the fighting arena to where we have had so many of our training and practices here. **

**I pulled my sword out as I got into stance and began to practice parry's and thrusts to the sound of my beating heart, the frustration and pain that had been building up was thrown into the practice that went on now. **

**Everyone else had gone to sleep no doubt and I knew that the knights were either to bed or wallowing in drink. I glanced up at the light that was on in Lancelot's room and I saw his sillouete as he paced back and forth, no doubt battling with himself.**

**Sighing in frustration I placed myself into practicing once again as I spun with the sword arched over my head in a graceful arch as I breathed calmly as I tried to place myself in a more concentrating position as I gracefully seem to float, my gown flaring around me.**

**I was so intent in my training that I did not see that I was being watched by a pair of very intense brown eyes from the corner. **

**I was picturing that devil saxon as I swung again and thrusted into nothing but air, hearing to my satisfaction the whistle of my sword then I thrusted again and spun with a arch that to my surprise it came crashing with a clang against a pair of familiar blades. Startled I looked up into the eyes of Lancelot who's brown eyes burned within my own and I knew that he wasn't here to make up but yet to deal with his anger the best way he knew how, battle.**

**I didn't fear him for if anyone else besides Tristan could match with Lancelot's fighting skills it was I. I had fought him once and won.**

**I slipped my sword free from the hold his twin blades had and held it up threatingly in front of me as I bounced on the heels of my feet as I watched him to see what he was planning.**

**He watched me sadly yet I saw a grin begun to form upon his lips as his eyes twinkled then he stood up, placing his twin blades upon the ground as he seemed to claim defeat, caustiously I eyed him to see what his plan was.**

**"Fight me Lancelot" I ordered gently. He shook his head, weither in disagreement or in amusement I knew not but I just watched him.**

**"Fight me" I ordered again a bit louder but to my annoyance he shook his head then I sighed and let my guard down, lowered my sword on the ground as well and I turned to walk away when out of the corner of my eye I saw him bring one blade down but I quickly raised my sword up and blocked his blow, gazing into his shocked yet satisfied gaze then with a yell none of done before I threw his blade out of his hand and knocked him down and before he had a chance I held the tip of my blade at his throat as he looked at me shocked.**

**I breathed heavily as I gazed into his eyes which I saw was still stirring with hurt and disbelief then I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I gazed at him, I sighed in frustration and lowered my blade once more as I began to back away, I turned to leave.**

**"Your letting emotion get in the way" came his cocky reply. I spun around to face him with my eyes shooting fire. I was furious with the way he was acting at this moment. Saxons resided on the other side of this wall and he only seemed to care that I held priority's higher then what mattered the most between us at that moment, love.**

**"You seem quite aware of that, then what would you call what you are doing? socializing?" I shot back. I was angry, I wanted a fight or to be left alone, either one would suffice.**

**Lancelot smirked at me which was starting to become quite irritating. He stepped forth but I did something I never thought I would do, I held up my sword to ward him off which he froze in his tracks as he cocked his head to a side with the smirk still upon his face.**

**"I warn you Lancelot, I am not in any mood to be trifiled with at the moment, you stand in front of me with no chance to defend myself. If I dont stand by my brother then who will Lancelot? You have so less faith in me Lancelot?" I wondered passionately.**

**Lancelot shook his head as he growled in frustration then he stalked towards me, grasping my shoulders as I gave a gasp of shock as he pushed me against the wall, startled I looked up into his eyes which burned with fiery ambers that I felt my knees go weak. I know it was a bit odd to desire this moment but nothing mattered more to me then for him to show his emotion once and for all. **

**Lancelot normally never opened up, it was quite rare when he did for he was a man that kept to himself yet when it came to Arthur or I he seemed to loosen up and also open up.**

**I reached out to stroke his cheek but he pushed my hand away and he pinned my arms against the wall as I tried to reason with him.**

**"Lancelot your frightening me" I murmured. He nearly chuckled at that which I thought was a bit odd for he never seemed to act this way.**

**"Oh I'm frightening you now am I? What do you think tomorrow will be like?" he asked demandingly. I narrowed my eyes at him trying to scare me to where it would change my mind and go with them. I pushed him back away from me as I glared at him.**

**"I am no coward Lancelot, you know this better then anyone yet you want me to flee? You have your freedom, you may go if you wish but if you have any faith in me or our love that you proclaim to have then believe that I and Arthur will return!" I remarked loudly. He held his hand up to tell me to lower my voice and I realized that I was letting my temper show. **

**Lancelot sighed then he slumped in defeat as he looked at me sadly. "You truly believe that I do not love you?" he asked, a tad bit hurt. I sighed at the irony of this whole situation then I saw Vanora stick her head out the window above us.**

**"Oh for heavens sakes! You both love one another dearly now in order to save that love sacrifices have to be made. Now go to sleep the both of you!" she hissed impatiently. I saw to my amusement Bor's reach out for her and pulled her within the room once again and I heard giggling as I turned back towards Lancelot who was trying not to laugh.**

**"I believe there going for number 12" he remarked. I chuckled then looked at Lancelot sadly as he too shared my very gaze then he pulled me to him for a passionate kiss that lite me down to my soul and I went to kiss him back when he pulled back and without even a goodbye he walked away and left me to stand there in complete shock at what happened. **

**I stared up in heaven to ask god what to do with this exasperating man then I decided that it was time to go to sleep and prepare for the departure of the knights and also the battle that laid ahead.**


	9. The Moment of Battle Near

Chapter 9:

The day of battle had arrived and the day for the knights to return to their rightful home. I came into the stables to see the knights off. Galahad stood with Gawain as they chatted with one another, I spotted Vanora and Bor's packing up to leave, Dagonet and Tristan packing what little valuables they had as they chatted excitedly.

I did not see Arthur amongst them as I gazed about the room, I searched for Lancelot as well as I didn't see him, feeling the dispair building up that he would not allow me to say goodbye.

Galahad spotted me first and strolled over as I gave him a brave smile and embraced him tightly as he practically swept me off my feet.

"Is it true that you will not return with us?" he wondered. He pulled back to search my face for any signs of false report but I only gazed at him sadly. He saw the look upon my face and nodded in understanding.

"Please return to us all, espically Lancelot. He will not be able to bear it if he lost you" he murmured low for Lancelot just entered the stables. I gave Galahad another hug as I gazed at Lancelot who seemed intent in packing, dressed in his armor as he began to pack up his belongings upon Bear. I pulled away from Galahad and began to hug the others as well just as Arthur entered the stables, I did not see Guinevere by his side and I knew she had gone to prepare for battle herself.

I finished giving the others hugs as I strolled over towards Lancelot who was strapping on his twin blades upon his back and glanced up as I approached.

"Lancelot I beg of you please lets not depart angry at one another, I cannot bear the idea of you cross at me. Place yourself in my position please" I pleaded with him. Lancelot tightened his blades as he spun to face me.

"I am not cross just afraid. Afraid of losing both Arthur and you. I understand now what it is that you need to do that is why I am staying as well" he remarked. I reeled back in surprise at his admittance and his statement of staying as well.

"What? But your all ready to go, now your going to stay? No Lancelot I cannot..." He cut me off with the wave of his hand.

"Why its ok for you to stay behind but for us it is not?" he asked, a tad bit annoyed. I shook my head at the irony of it all then I gave him my answer.

"For someone has too build a home for me to return too" I cracked but I saw that he wasn't amused. I sighed as I cupped his cheek.

"Lancelot return home, that is an order" I remarked sternly. He narrowed his eyes as he spun about and stalked off. I drew in a shaky breath as I watched him walk away then I saw Arthur walk towards me but I merely pointed towards Lancelot, for him to go to Lancelot then with one last glance I spun around and headed back towards inside so that I could prepare for battle. The anguish heavy in my heart but to concentrate on the battle to come I pushed aside the feeling as I picked up a pair of black tight strapped leggings that criss-crossed along the sides, I wore a criss-crossed halter top of dark, satin red as I showed the henna tattoes I had on my arms as well as my lower back, which I learned from a ingredient my grandmother had given me long ago. My hair was pulled up in a bun as a few strands of curls hung around me then I grabbed my sword, dagger and ax as well.

I glanced at myself in the mirror and saw that I seemed far from a lady which I couldn't help but smile at then I headed out the door just as Arthur came out of his chambers as well, dressed for battle and we checked the other over then Arthur gave me a sad smile.

"Just like old times eh?" he wondered. I merely nodded as I straigtened up my stance as he asked me with his eyes if I was ready for this. I nodded once more which he nodded in return then head held high he walked forth as I followed towards the stables to where our horses sat, I strolled over to my beautiful tanned arabian horse named Aurora. I whispered to her in Farsi which she snorted as she nudged against my cheek in happiness. Arthur gazed in awe.

"I always wondered how in the world you manage to calm that horse down. Every since you had disappeared she became lost and bad tempered" he explained.

I felt the pain of even my horses suffering as well but I was here to change all of that, though I did not know what the future would bring but I held what faith I did believe in within the grasp of my hand.

I kissed Aurora's nose as I saddled her up and swung myself up onto the saddle as I glanced over at Arthur who did the same then with our flagged spears in hand we rode to the top of the hill as I watched with a heavy heart and a lump in my throat as we saw the others depart. From Alecto to Germanius to Vanora and those beautiful children of hers, my fellow knights and brothers in arms as well as the man that I loved.

Just at the mere thought of Lancelot made my heart ache and my chest tighten as I struggled to breath over this lose yet I didn't feel that it was the end.

I glanced over at Arthur as I tried to ignore the moister that gathered within my eyes but saw him struggle with his own demons as he watched his knights, his brothers in arms and best friends ride away, I saw Galahad and Gawain glance up at Arthur and I then I saw Bor's ride forth so that he could be heard.

"Arthorious! Shirin! Russsssssssssss!" he yelled as he pounded his chest. Arthur and I glanced at him and after a few seconds we raised our flagged spears in return.

"Russssssss!" we cried back then I saw the light in Arthur's eyes dim a bit in sadness and I cursed everyone of both Saxon and Roman for putting us through such trials.

I glanced over at Lancelot to see him glance over at Arthur and I, seeming a bit lost and sadness apparent on his handsome features yet he made no advance to return but inside I told myself that it was for the best. I sat there watching as the Saxons laid scattered all over the place and I held myself back from shuddering at thought of that monster being amongst them but my palm itched to inflict the same torture and pain upon myself.

Arthur looked over at me as I wondered what he was planning on doing. I glanced at him questioningly.

"I am going to go speak to the leader of the Saxons, I want you to stay right here and be a lookout. Is that clear?" he ordered gently. I went to protested but I thought better of it as I felt a wind blow that seemed to carry a sense of doom and dread with it. I nodded obediantly which was a first for me and Arthur seemed a bit surprised but said nothing as he rode his horse towards the meeting with the Saxon as I watched in apprehension at his quick return then about 3 minutes later he returned with a straight face and settled against my side.

"Not long my dear sister, are you sure you are able to go through with this?" he asked. I merely nodded as I gazed out into the distance then to my surprise I heard the sound of hooves approaching and I turned to see Lancelot ride up between Arthur and I.

I stared at him in complete shock as Arthur seemed surprised at first but then he just let it past with a smile then the other knights rode up as well beside us as we gazed upon the land that had been our home for so long.

I felt Lancelot take my hand in his and raised it to his lips as I gazed within his eyes that now seemed to beg for my forgiveness which I nodded my go ahead then we turned as Arthur began to move about in front of us then looked at each of us.

"Knights! The gift of freedom is yours by right. The home we seek resides not in some distant land but in us" he started glancing in each one of our eyes. I felt Lancelot squeeze my hand in emphases.

"In our actions this day! If this be our destiny then so be it! But let history remember that as free men and women we choose to make it so!" he cried and let out a battle roar as we returned it then one by one we slammed our flagged spears into the ground and rode down to the battle that laid ahead but before we had a chance to I felt Lancelot stop me by grabbing the reins of my horse, surprised I turned to let him have it when he leaned in and kissed me into breathlessness and then when he pulled back I saw the desire, love and compassion in his eyes.

"I love you so much Shirin Castus and know this that I have your back there as I know you have mine" he remarked breathlessly. I nodded as I kissed him once more.

"Lancelot please be careful out there" I murmured against his lips. He nodded then we broke apart and rode out to a battle that possibly could be our last.


	10. Moment of Battle and Truth

Chapter 10:

We hid amongst the smoke as the door to the fort creaked open and a few saxons came walking in slowly, looking around cautiously.

I grinned evily as I watched them come forth, eyes darting all over the place and squinting against the smoke as huddled together they came walking in.

I felt the anxiousness well within me as my palms itched to get this over with and send them back to the hell they came from, to get them away from my home.

"Wait for it" murmured Lancelot. I wasn't surprised that he was by my side, even when I was still a Sarmation knight and at every battle he stucked by my side much to my annoyance sometimes but yet it gave me a good feeling to know that he had my back.

I nodded but I gripped the hilt of my sword tightly till my knuckles turned white in anticipation then I saw Arthur wave his hand to go forth and with a swift kick to Aurora's side we rode forth, swords flashing and crashing into the bewildered and shocked faces of the saxons, knocking them down and cutting them down hearing the shouts and cries of pain and pleading for it to stop.

I felt the andrenaline run through me as I took one by one that I was able to down but then as quickly as we rode into the fray we quickly rode back amongst the smoke and shadows. I breathed heavily yet when I glanced over at Arthur, Lancelot and Galahad I couldn't help but grin which they shook their heads good naturedly at. We continued the same tactic and saw they began to cut down quickly.

I looked over towards the wall where I knew that Saxon king could hear his warriors getting cut down. I saw a wave of arrows flow down and grinning I glanced over to see Guinevere and the other woads, women and men alike, firing arrows amongst the rest of the Saxons that came in, returning was not an opition.

Arthur let one man go so that he may go warn his commander which I felt the bubble of annoyance well within me, I turned my face towards him.

"Why brother are you allowing him to escape?" I blurted out in question. Arthur turned to me with a arched eyebrow.

"Our enemy must know we are serious about this matter" he remarked plainly. I nodded then we rode to hide amongst the shadows again then a few moments later the door opened and the rest of the army came marching in. I felt to my annoyance the wound from that madman throb which told me that he was near, I could see him amongst the head of the crowd.

I saw Arthur look over towards the woads and Guinevere as they began to light the arrows, then raising them in the air they let them fire in a beautiful arch as they landed not so prettily upon the Saxons who to my satisfaction cried out in agony and pain but those cries were cut short.

I then glanced over at Arthur who locked eyes with me as well then gave me a nod as I held up my sword in the air and rode down with Galahad and Lancelot by my side as we all ran down to meet the Saxon army below. I cut through the masses of Saxon soldiers, cutting, slashing and hacking as much as I could upon my horse but apparently Aurora had her own plans as she snorted then rised to where she stood on her hind legs, taking a few Saxons by surprise as she brought her hooves smashing down on them and I heard the crunch of breaking bones, I patted her proudly at her bravery but my victory was short lived as I was yanked down from my saddle to fall upon the ground. Whipping my hair out of my face I glared into the fiery eyes of a Saxon as he leered down at me.

"Why your just a woman, a beautiful one at that, what are you doing amongst such a bloody battle lass?" he growled menancingly. I shook my head with a mild smile then I shot my leg up where my foot made contact with his manly area. He screamed in pain as he dropped the ground writhering in pain as I rose and brought my sword through his belly which quickly ended his screaming. I looked about me to see everyone engaged in battle.

I spun around and engaged a battle with another Saxon, I cut and slashed but he seemed to hold good battle techniques but then I did something I never thought I would do, least not in a longtime, I put both my legs together, bended my knees and jumped within the air in a flip as I flipped over my oppenent who seemed momentarily stunned for one second I stood before him and then the next I landed behind him and slashed his back from behind then hearing another uncoming Saxon I swung around with a battle cry and cut off his head.

After I cut off his head I glanced over through the barrier of blaze to see how Guinevere was faring and saw she was engaged in battle with the same madman that had given me this scar, I decided that it would be my battle but I also saw that Guinevere was having a hard time keeping him at bay.

I jumped upon Aurora as I rode towards them both, flying over the fiery blazed wall then jumped down from upon Aurora and I ran towards her, cutting down anyone in my path to do so then saw to my anger him knock Guinevere down and raised his sword up high to take her head but I jumped in, stopping him with both my sword and ax, blocking him our swords clashing. Guinevere looked up in surprise and almost smiled upon seeing me but I didn't glance at her just glared within the cold, menacing eyes of Cynric if I remembered exactly.

"Go Guinevere! Get out of here! This is mine!" I ordered. She nodded seeing that I meant business as she rolled out from under us and began to fight another Saxon that came up beside me but my whole attention was on Cynric as he grinned evily as he recognized me.

"Why if it isen't that bloody bitch, seem's you still carry the love mark I left upon you" he shot out. I growled though I knew better not to let emotion get in the middle of it all.

He raised his sword high and brought it down but I blocked it and pushed him back as much as I could with what strenght I had then he kept bringing his sword down as I kept blocking them and I knew that he was trying to tire me then I ducked, spun and gave him a kick in the gut as he grunted but still stood then I swung my sword and slashed him upon his shoulder but still he kept coming, I bounced on my heel but then I heard Guinevere scream.

"Look out Shirin!" she yelled. Spinning around I blocked the blow that was heading for my head then I reached out for the wild haired Saxon and gripping the Saxons body I kicked him in the arse and sent him plowing into Cynric who fell upon the ground, swearing at his fallen comrade then I grabbed my sword and cut through the Saxon that now rolled off of Cynric, hearing to my satisfaction his groan of pain then I swung my head to face Cynric who rose once again. He came towards me swinging like a madman but I blocked off his swings once again but I found it difficult too for each blow was a fatal as the first. I felt the sting in my shoulder when his sword made contact and I hissed in pain but I wasn't about to let this man get the best of me. He made my life a living hell just as much as Marius had.

I twirled in a graceful arch as I came behind him and kicked him in the back of his knee's as he groaned and stumbled, trying to claim his balance then I rose my sword to take his head when he suddenly threw his head back and slammed it in my stomach and I groaned as I got the wind knocked out of me and dropping my sword I gripped my stomach in pain as I stumbled back, spots flashed in front of me then I dropped to my knee's as I struggled to breath and slowly was getting my composure back when I heard Guinevere scream again.

"Shirin! Shirin!" she screamed frantically.Weakly glancing up I saw that Cynric was grinning evily at me as he raised his sword above his head.

"I should of killed you the first time I had the chance yet even now I cannot seem too for that lucious body of yours is too tempting" he murmured as he moved closer, grabbing my hair and yanked my head back but I made no sound as I glared up at him, not liking the idea of feeling vunerable.

I didn't close my eyes to give him the satisfaction of feeling like he had the upper hand, I saw the flash of the blade as it came down when all of suddenly two twin blades crashed upon Cynric's sword and with a growl pushed him back as he kicked Cynric in the chest.

I sighed in relief as I recognized Lancelot being my savior then watched as he yelled while fighting with both blades, slashing and blocking, parrying as he fought the Saxon that took the woman that he loved and dared leave a mark upon her that wasn't his to commit in the first place.

I slowly rose to my feet as I grasped my sword. I saw Lancelot glance in my direction for a moment as he doged a blow Cynric swung at him.

"Shirin are you alright?" he asked concernly as he slashed Cynric in the back and spun to fight off another Saxon who rushed him, I raised my sword weakly but none the less as I fought off a Saxon coming towards me, slashing him in the side then spinning I stabbed him in the gut then turned in time to see to my complete horror Cynric grab a crossbrow and aim it right for Lancelot who's attention was on slashing two other Saxons.

I ran to Lancelot frantic to get to him as I yelled out a warning. "Lancelot look out!" I shouted. Lancelot finished off the Saxon's and turned to face me just as Cynric let the bolt fly right into his shoulder, and as the bolt made contact Lancelot jerked as it hit and I jerked to a halt for moment and gripped my shoulder as if it were me that had gotten hit myself then I snapped out of my moment.

"LANCELOT! NOOOO!" I wailed. I watched the man I loved drop to his knees and fell to the ground. Outraged I turned to face Cynric who smirked in satisfaction which made my blood boil. I snarled and took out my dagger and grasped it in my hand.

"Ooooo big bad woman going to kill me with a mere dagger" he taunted. I didn't give him a reply as I let the dagger fly right into his chest targeting his heart as he stopped looking at me in shock for hitting him right upon his heart, he kneeled over in the ground as I walked over towards him, my face in a cold, eerrie gaze as I took my sword.

"No I will kill you with more than just that" I remarked calmly. I ran the sword through his neck with a overwhelming strenght while he just gazed at me with a even more shocked look upon his face. I watched with satisfaction as he kneeled over, dead.

I didn't even give him a second glance as I spun around and saw Guinevere kneel by Lancelot's side and the feeling of pain and dread. All around me the battle pretty much had ended.

Crying out in anguish I ran towards Lancelot and dropped by his side, pulling him in my arms as I saw him struggle to stay alive. I ran my hands all over him, his face, his chested armor, all over.

"Oh god Lancelot please stay alive for me. Do not make me experience the hell you went through. Lancelot please" I pleaded tearfully. He gave me a weak smile as he raised his weak hand towards my cheek.

"D-do not worry for I-I do not believe that w-will be our faith" he gasped. I saw that he was struggling to breath, struggled to stay alive. Guinevere gazed at me with tear filled eyes then her eyes lightened as Arthur rushed to our sides, grasping Lancelot gently.

"Lancelot worry not for you will be just fine" he comforted. Lancelot began to cough roughly as he struggled to breathe. I looked over at Arthur fearfully as I tried to keep what shred of sanity I had left.

Lancelot reached out and gripped my shoulder. "Y-your wounded and y-you s-say nothing?" he remarked. I glanced down briefly at my shoulder that was bleeding but that didn't matter, what mattered was getting Lancelot to a healer.

He cupped my cheek and with what strenght he had left turned my face to look at me as his eyes pleaded with mine as his body shook with racks of pain. I bit my lip to keep the tears at bay at seeing his pain yet no matter what pain he was experiencing his concern for me was always a prioity.

"P-promise me that y-you will t-take care o-of yourself?" he croaked out. I shook my head as the tears that I tried to keep at bay began to flow down my cheeks which were covered a bit in blood from battle.

"Lancelot do not speak that way, you will be just fine and we shall return home, Sarmatia. Your home. Please love I beg of you do not leave me, we finally found one another, do not throw that away, do not give up" I pleaded as I kissed his cheeks, his forehead, his eyes and finally his lips as I tried to breath my life within him for now we were one. What pain he was going through, I seemed to feel it too for my whole body ached as well but slowly his eyes lowered and he went slack. Alarmed I began to shake him.

"Lancelot no! No! Dont you dare leave me! Lancelot I love you" I sobbed as I buried my face in his armor as I just let myself go and felt my own life slipping away along with his. Without him I was nothing and with him I was everything.

I saw Galahad, Gawain, Dagonet and Bor's helping along a wounded Tristan over to our side. Arthur raised his tearful eyes to the knights.

"Knights I have failed you, I neither took you off this island nor shared your faith" he remarked mournfully. I snapped my head at my brother.

"You speak as if he is already gone" I shot out. Arthur looked at me sadly as he gazed down at his best friend, his comrade, his brother in arms. I could feel the pain radiating off of him as he shook his head as he lowered his head in defeat.

"A-Arthur you w-worry yourself t-to much" remarked Lancelot dryly. Crying out in relief I hugged him gently, careful not to harm him further.

Arthur smiled a bit through his tears then he rose as he pulled Lancelot into his arms and with Gawain began to get him to a healer as quickly as possible. I rose my head to the heavens, thanking what god there was for giving Lancelot the strenght to keep alive. I knew my path in life was to be with this man and I knew that god wouldn't be cruel as to seperate us. I knew that life was too precious to be wasted and we have seen this.

I shook my head of such thoughts and standing by Lancelot's side, we made to start a whole new life filled with love and happiness, in anyway possible.


	11. The Love to Be Tested and More Truths

Chapter 11:

We returned to Hadrian's Wall to make sure that Lancelot and Tristan got there wounds taken care of for they were severe. Lancelot was wisked away in the room while Dagonet and another healer by the name of Raven Lox who had came to the wall as a healer, took him as Dagonet stopped me from entering the room as I looked at him in disbelief.

"Dagonet?" I questioned. He glanced at me with a sympathtic smile as I moved to past by him but he settled a hand upon my shoulder.

"Shirin I believe that it will be better if you waited out here" he suggested gently. I gave him a look that plainly would of brought anyone else down and out of my way but Dagonet wasn't about to let me past.

"Dagonet you must be joking? That is my fiancee in there and you wish for me to stay outside?" I asked in disbelief as my voice rose.

I felt another hand rest on my other shoulder and I spun about to see Galahad behind me with a comforting smile.

"Galahad please I must go to him, he needs me..." I was cut off by Galahad who pulled me to him in a warm, strong and comforting embrace as I felt the shock that had seemed to overtake me wear off as the reality of it all began to sit in now. My whole body shook as my knees buckled and I slumped within Galahad's arms which he simply swept me up into his arms and carried me to my room, intent on taking care of my wound which slowly seemed to come to me for what I wasn't aware of was the gash along my stomach close to the scar that Cynric had left.

I pushed against Galahad's helping hand while he just clucked his tongue as he reached out and brushed my hair back.

"Shirin for once in your life do not worry, allow someone to disperse of your pain" he remarked soothingly. I slowly began to relax but then Lancelot popped into my head once again and I surged upward which made a scream wrench past my lips at the pain that shot through my body at my action.

Galahad reached out to comfort me as I heard him call for Vanora and Guinevere and I saw them rush in my room as the cloud of pain and exuastion slowly fell upon me. All around me I heard muffled talking but to me as I glanced around everything seemed cloudy but the only thing that was on my mind and my lips was Lancelot, I needed to reach him, to see that he was alright but I couldn't seem to fight through this cloud of pain that threatened to overcome me. I saw a flash of light which nearly blinded me and I moaned against its sudden glare then I felt a sudden warmth spread all over me then I heard a voice I never thought I would hear again for a longtime.

"_My beautiful daughter, you look distressed, worry not for the young knight that has captured your heart shall be just fine but as for you my darling, you need to fight this. I do not just speak of the wounds that have been inflicted on you but also the wounds that dwell within your heart, you know of which I speak of my darling. I love you so that I count the days till we are reunited once more. Open your heart completely and seek the forgivness that you know must be given" _came my mother's voice.

I whimpered a bit as I saw her shimmering form as the light surrounded her making her more beautiful to my eyes, she held her outstretched arms towards me with a smile.

"Maman" I whispered weakly as I reached for her also but she slowly began to disappear as I whimpered again then I began to relax as I felt Galahad brush back my hair once more but then I saw him glance up at Guinevere in worry.

"She's breaking a fever" he murmured worriedly. I moaned again as the pain then engulfed me and at the disapperance of my mother who I lost at a young age or so I had been told.

"Lancelot" I whimpered. I felt my strenght drain slowly as I finally gave in to the black abyss that finally took over me.

Lancelot's point of view...

I jerked awake as the pain that shot through me but it wasn't in regards to the arrow that Dagonet and Raven had pulled out but to the fact I heard Shirin's voice.

"_Maman" _She had whimpered. So softly yet so clearly that it struck me right in the heart that I never thought it would.

Dagonet and Raven physically had to hold me down as I struggled against them, regardless of my wounds and pain that shot through me at the movement but yet I needed to get to her at all cost.

"Lancelot for godsakes stay still!" scolded Dagonet. I ignored him and thrashed about some more, growling in effort to get up and go see how my fiancee was faring, something didn't seem right.

"Lancelot calm yourself!" came Arthur's voice. I glanced up briefly as he stormed within the room as he seemed relieved that I was alright yet a bit annoyed that I wasn't resting. I ignored him as well as I rose yet I was ordered once again.

"Lancelot lay back down! That's an order from your commander!" Arthur remarked loudly. I looked him straight in the eyes.

"Tell me how my fiancee fares and I'll go forth with your order" I offered. Arthur arched his eyebrow at my quick defiance of his order yet I saw the amusement within his eyes and understanding at my need to see Shirin.

Sighing he came towards my bedside as he placed a hand upon my shoulder and I felt the feeling of dread creep within my belly.

"Arthur f-for goodness sakes tell me what the matter is" I pleaded. I stopped as I heard the hoarseness in my voice and I cleared my throat but then as I saw the sadness within Arthur's eyes as well as the worry that crested there, I made to rise again when I saw Galahad along with Gawain enter my room just as Dagonet placed a hand on my shoulder to settle me once more. I looked at Galahad who gazed at me concernly.

"How do you fare Lancelot?" Galahad asked. I narrowed my eyes at our youngest knight. No one was giving me the answer I seeked and I was starting to loose my patience.

"I'm bloody fine until I get some answers to which I seek about the welfare of my fiancee!" I rumbled loudly.

Gawain cleared his throat which made me cut my glance over to him as he wavered under my hard gaze. He shook his head.

"Lancelot I..." he was cut off but Arthur. "Lancelot I do not wish for you to worry yourself, you both have had a tiring day..." I cut him off this time.

"Bloody hell Arthur tell me what in gods name is going on with my fiancee! Wife! What ever the bloody hell you wish to call her!" I barked out.

Galahad stepped back at the anger and defiance that crackled within my eyes as I glared at them all then I made to get to her myself when Galahad stepped forth once more.

"She's suffering with a fever and seem's to be lost in some sort of a memory that is anguishing her so" he explained in a rush as he sent Arthur a apoligetic look. I swung my head to face Arthur but hissed under my breath at the pain that sudden movement caused me then I met Arthur's gaze.

"Were you not planning on telling me?" I asked, hurt. He sighed as he ran a hand through his ruffled hair.

"I felt that it would be best that you got well first, that you were mended" he explained. I opened my mouth to say something when Guinevere came strolling in, she shared a meaningful glance with Arthur then turned to me.

"Sir Lancelot how do fare?" she asked. I gritted my teeth at the constant question that was wearing down my nerves.

"Milady I fare well yet I am concerned about my fiancee. Tell me is she well?" I asked. I pleaded with her to tell me that all was well.

She cleared her throat as she struggled to find the words to explain to me what was going on then she turned to us all.

"Seem's that she has a deep gash along side her stomach close to the scar that has already marked her. Tis a bit deep but it shall be fine. Her fever seems to waver a bit but I believe that it shall break by tomorrow, she's mostly suffering from lose of blood tis all but I advise you to take your rest as well so the both of you may mend faster milord" she announced. I saw Arthur, Galahad, Gawain and Dagonet sigh in relief but I was unsatisfied.

"Milady was she suffering from nothing else?" I pressed. She glanced at me curiously to what regards I would ask such a question.

"Nothing that I know of, why would you ask such a question milord?" she asked. I glanced about the room as I tried to search of a explanation but then I felt a wave of dizziness hit me. I closed my eyes for merely a second but Arthur took that as to settle me down.

"Sleep my brother for you need it, you fought well today. Rest and Shirin will also and by morning you shall both be in better spirits" he advised. I went to protest as well but I felt that he was right.

What good will I be to both Shirin and myself if I did not take care of myself. How would take care of her if I didn't take care of myself. I laid down and slowly slipped within the comforting darkness that beckoned me but in my dreams and thoughts laid the beautiful, raven-haired beauty that had stolen my heart years ago and my future wife but laid with me was her welfare.


	12. Pieces of the puzzle being solved

Chapter 12:

I was standing upon a bank close to the river, watching the steady stream as it went by quickly, the fog so thick it was almost suffocating.

I knew that this was all a dream, least it felt like a dream. I watched calmly as I saw to my own surprise my mother heading towards the edge of the river quickly as she could while glancing behind her shoulder as often as she could as if afraid of someone or something to come after her then she set whatever it was she was cradling into the river in what seemed to be a basket.

Narrowing my eyes in wonder at what it was she had sent into the water and went to follow as well when all of a sudden a big, wildy blond saxon came towards her. My eyes widened in shock at recognizing Cedric, Cynric's father yet a more younger Cedric.

"Get back here you whore!" he yelled. Her eyes wild with fear as she made sure that the basket that held whatever it was within it kept going on the right and safe path. I ran towards her but found that I couldn't reach her, I couldn't even seem to touch her. I watched with my fist pressed against my heart to ward off the pain as I watched Cedric ran after her as she screamed with all her might for someone to help her as she desperately tried to get away from this mad man.

He growled as he lunged at her, tackling her to the ground as she yelped in fear then automatically turned to fight him off as he tried to overtake her.

I pressed a hand against my mouth to keep from screaming as I watched the horrific sight before me. I couldn't believe all of this nor why I was seeing all of this now.

"No! Please! Somebody help me!" she sobbed out as she tried to fight him off. Without thinking I picked up the skirts of my dress and went to go help when I saw I couldn't move, glancing down I saw that it seemed that my legs were rooted into place which I had no idea what to do all that I did know was that I needed to get to my mother.

I glanced over to my mother who was whimpering and crying to be saved by anyone and I reached out for her yet I couldn't even move to reach her. I watched with horror that was reflecting in her eyes as well as Cedric decided to kill my mother right in front of me as I saw him unsheath his sword as he held it high above his head.

"You shouldn't have done that my dear! You are my prisoner and as my prisoner you must stay here. Your little brat may fall off of the face of this earth for all I care yet you my dear possess to much for me to let go" he remarked. Yet he did not lower the sword as my mother's terrified, tearful eyes rose to meet his I saw to my surprise his eyes soften a bit then with a curled sneer he lowered the sword and grabbed her by her arm yanking her to her feet.

"Now get a move on! If I see you try to escape once more I will have you guts for garters girl! Understood?!" he bellowed. I even jumped at his bellowing voice. My mother meekly nodded as she wiped away the tears that had stained her cheeks.

He pushed her to walk but she looked over her shoulder as the basket that laid in the water, rocked by the river floated down to its path. I cocked my head to the side as I wondered as to who the little child was in that basket.

I was finally allowed to move as I ran to reach the basket that floated with the stream of the river. I dove into the water, managing not to kill myself as I swam to get to the basket. I looked inside as I struggled to catch my breath and to my complete and utter shock saw that the little baby that laid within the basket was none other than myself.

Stumbling back in shock at the evidence in front of me, I didn't know what to think at the moment. I watched myself and then I felt the ground beneath me sway as I slipped into the water and the black abyss that overtook me.

About an hour later...

I felt someone's soft yet calloused hands hold onto my own or so it seemed. I felt the thumb rub the back of my hand gently as I heard his voice.

"Milady please open those beautiful brown eyes of yours. I fear that I cannot take anymore of this silence. Please open those eyes of yours" murmured Lancelot, pleadingly. I stirred at the sound of his voice and I slowly opened my eyes, noting that it was a bit dark within the room, seeing that a mere candle was the only source of light I had. I heard his sigh of relief as he rose above me, a happy smile upon his handsome face.

"My love you are alright. You frightened me so" he admitted. I smiled weakly as I brushed a lock of curl from his face as I cupped his cheek. His eyes closed in pleasure as he placed his hand against mine to hold my hand in place.

"I love you Lancelot" I murmured. He opened his eyes at my confession and he leaned in, not seeming to care if anyone walked in on us as his lips swooped down on mine in a passionate kiss that took my breath away and if I wasn't laying down I probably would of fallen over with the intensity of his kiss.

He seemed to always blow me away with just little things, if not his kisses which were recent mostly but always his expressions, glances, touches, his concern, his affection and to treat me as an equeal.

He pulled back as I opened my eyes once more to meet his as I tried to get a hold of my breathing once more as he played with my hair, I tried to wiggle over to give him room but I winced at the pain it caused me. He shook his head at my antics then merely picked me up so that he could lay next to me and placed my head upon his chest as he played with my hair.

"Tis unbelievable" I murmured catiously. He glanced at me questioningly and I sighed. "How did I manage to tame the wild Lancelot?" I wondered. He seemed surprised that I would wonder or ask such a question then running a hand through his unruly hair he made a comment.

"Why must we bring up my past? Do you not trust me or my love for you?" he wondered. The tinge of hurt apparent in his voice and I regretted bringing up the matter yet it was a question I needed to speak of to clear a more clearer path for a future for us both, also I supposed I was wondering due to the fact that I was scared to death.

"Lancelot I am not trying to cause you any pain or distress" I started. I wracked my brain to try to find a way to continue this conversation but apparently Lancelot came to his own conclusions.

"Yet you question my feelings?" he remarked, his voice rising a bit. I turned to him with my eyes pleading to him to calm down but I had myself to blame.

("God Shirin you can never seem to keep your mouth shut") I scolded myself. Lancelot rose and got up from the bed as I watched fearfully at thinking he was going to leave.

"Lancelot please I did not wish to make matters a mess, tis only a thought..." I was cut off by the wave of Lancelot's hand.

"May I ask what possessed you to ask such a question?" he wondered. I sighed as I proceded to tell him about my dream.

I patted him to come back to the bed once more as he just gazed at me questioningly then he finally came over and sat down as he waited for me to give him a explanation. Sighing I turned to him as I tried to keep the tears at bay.

"I-I had a dream before I awoke and it was about my mother, I saw her with that madman saxon Cedric yet it was years before we met for I was a mere babe" I started. I saw his interest and I carried on with my story and told him about what I saw and confessed my fears to him, by the time I was finished I was sobbing against his chest as he cradled me close.

"My darling you have naught to be afraid, you will not suffer the same fate as your mother, you did not suffer the same fate as your mother" he explained in comfort as I just merely nodded. We laid back upon the bed as we both fell asleep in exhaustion both from our injuries and from lack of sleep.

In the morning...

I awoke with Lancelot next to me and saw that he was still fast asleep. I laid still as I watched him for the first time sleep peacefully and without the crests of worry that normally creased his handsome face. I brushed my hand over his beard but he did not even stir.

As I laid there I heard shuffling outside and I sat up wondering who it was that stood outside my door, looking over to make sure that I didn't wake Lancelot I slipped out of the bed and grabbing my robe and slipping into it, being careful of my injuries as I did then I went over towards the door pressing my ear against the door to hear anything which sounded like constant muffling.

I pulled back and opened the door and to my surprise saw Gawain and Galahad standing outside my door looking quite embaressed and a bit ashamed for standing there but I felt the prickle of concern instead creep upon me.

"What is it? What is the matter?" I asked, the fear apparent in my voice for Galahad stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me to comfort me.

"All is well sister dear we were just coming to see how you are faring" he remarked comfortingly. I relaxed automatically at that and merely rested my forehead against Galahad's shoulder then I heard Gawain comment.

"Shirin where be Lancelot? We went to see how he faring also and he wasn't in his room" he asked. I blushed lightly as I pulled back to face him but I saw that he was already grinning at me while I merely glared at him playfully.

"If you already know why must you ask?" I wondered. He just chuckled then Galahad saw that Lancelot rose and was heading towards the door spying them standing close to the entry of the door, the relief evident in their eyes at there brother in arms sudden quick recovery.

"Lancelot how do you fare?" Gawain wondered. I saw that Lancelot was getting a tad bit annoyed with the question giving away that it was being asked to much.

"My darling sister!" came Arthur's voice. My head snapped up at his voice and as I saw him walk up towards me I took off running into his open arms as he swept me into them.

"Oh Arthur your alright!" I remarked. After saying that made me realize what a silly comment it was for I just saw him yesterday.

Catching on Arthur merely dropped a brotherly kiss upon my forehead as he hugged me tightly while glacing over at Lancelot with a knowing smile as we just basked in our newfound renuion yet I had that awful dream at the back of my mind and I knew that I needed to get answers somehow and in anyway possible.


	13. Finally life is settled or is it?

Chapter 13:

It was a few days after that day in Badon Hill and was the day of Guinevere's and Arthur's wedding day. A day that was

filled with such happiness that it was impossible not to rejoice in this happy matter.

Guinevere was glowing with happiness and I smiled as I gazed at her beautiful reflection as she stood in her

wedding gown in front of the mirror.A beautiful gown with lace and velvet light green with gold trace lining and modest

cleavage with long, loose sleeves. Placing a hand upon her bare shoulder I gushed intently.

"Guin you look positively beautiful, you sha'll take the mere breath of my brother away" I complimented honestly.

She blushed but grinned in pleasure.

"You truly believe so?" she asked, jesting. We both laughed then I heard a knock upon the door. Grabbing the

hem of my gown I glided towards the door.

"Who be standing before the queen's chamber door?" I asked. I heard the sound of someone clearing their

throat then a deep voice answered.

"Tis I milady, the galant knight sir Lancelot" came Lancelot's voice. I felt the warmth spread within me at the mere

sound of his voice.

I looked over at Guinevere with a mere roll of my eyes causing her to giggle outloud as I walked towards the

door, pressing myself close so that he may hear me.

"Oh galant knight, her majesty has fled at the moment. Tis quite frightful for her" I remarked dramtically as

Guinevere pressed a pillow against her mouth to stifle her laughter while she was careful not to flop upon the bed to

ruin her hair.

I heard Lancelot sigh then I heard his voice which was laced with impatientness. "Now my dear princess please

if you may call her majesty forth for we must be quick to be at the ceremony that awaits our arrival" he explained in all

patientness.

I heard the annoyance for he was no fool, he knew that Guinevere sat with me inward the chamber but I was in a

bit of a teasing mood when I made that jest.

Sighing in defeat I gestured Guinevere that we should go. She rose and I quickly went for the train of her gown

just I gave Lancelot the permission from Guinevere to enter the room.

As he came in he went to say something when whatever the matter of which he wished to speak about died

within his throat as he froze in his tracks as he gazed at Guinevere then he glanced over to me as he saw that I wore a

gown similiar to Guinevere's yet mine was one of lightest blue which contrasted well with my tanned skin which was

rare in these parts but it gave away that I was not of true Britian or Roman blood.

Guinevere smiled shyly at Lancelot but yet I saw that she seeked her soon to be husband's most trusted knight

and dear friend's approval of her attire.

"Well what do you think?" she asked boldly. I was a bit surprised of her straight foward question but Lancelot

merely looked her over once then slowly kneeled before her.

"Milady I am not worthy to stand before you, such grace, such elagance. My you put Arthur to shame" he

remarked passionately. I bit my lip from laughing at the air he put on but I saw that Guinevere herself was trying to

keep her wits about her.

She waved her hand in as she addressed Lancelot. "Sir Lancelot do not flattery me so for it is most shameful of

you. Such flattery should be bestowed upon Lady Shirin, she is the maiden that has captured your heart" she advised.

I saw Lancelot look up slowly as he eyes locked with mine and he smiled deeply. I cast my eyes to the ground

but a smile crested my face as I raised my eyes to meet his.

Lancelot glanced up at me with a twinkle of mischief within his deep brown eyes that seemed to sweep me within

the fiery embers and I seemed to drown within them with no means of safety or help.

"Sir Lancelot sha'll we carry forth with this marriage?" I asked lightly. He nodded as he rose then taking

Guinevere's hand he placed a kiss upon it then with her hand within his own he began to lead her as well as I out

towards the ceremony that was about to start.

Walking towards the cliff that looked down upon the vast ocean as the warm breeze fluttered around us as I saw

Arthur stand with Bor's by his side as he anxiously waited for Guinevere and I too arrive.

Upon being in sight, I saw Galahad nod to the piper to began the wedding march that seemed to stir my very

soul for in no time I supposed that I would walk down this very same aisle.

As I laid the train upon the velvet red carpet that was covered with rose petals as Lancelot nodded me first to go

down the aisle then gave me a wink along with a mischevious smile and I merely shook my head good naturedly as I

raised my head high and began to make my way down the aisle and I saw Arthur smile at me and I gave him a smile

back as I gazed at my brother fondly.

I saw Bors move towards Vanora as we got closer towards the head of the alter. Lancelot came with Guinevere

by his side and I saw both Arthur's and Guinevere's smiles widened and Lancelot cast me a similar smile then as they

reached the alter, pressing a kiss to Guinevere's cheek Lancelot placed her hand within Arthur's as they turned to face

Merlin who stood before them to begun the ceremony.

Lancelot took his place beside me as we stood for the ceremony to begin and I managed to sneak a glance at

Lancelot who merely gave me a grin as well.

I stood there then Lancelot offered me his arm which I took as we stood there listening to Merlin going on then

finally it came to where Guinevere and Arthur were to share vows and the vows were exchanged then Merlin handed

both Guinevere and Arthur the goblet that held the wine that would completely bind them together.

I squeezed Lancelot's arm excitedly at the coming together of a nation that would probably be the greatest force

of all time.

Arthur caught my eye and smiled brightly at me and I gave him a mere wink but was grinning from ear to ear then

Merlin passed Arthur and Guinevere a goblet to which they both took turns drinking out of then after that, Merlin turned

to us all.

"King Arthur!" he called out, everyone began to cheer as well as the rest of us. Lancelot wrapped his arms

around my waist as we all called out our alligance for it meant that the woads and our people were equal now.

Arthur pulled Guinevere in a passionate kiss that even made me blush but Lancelot merely chuckled and leaned

in close to my ear.

"It sha'll be our turn soon my love" he whispered huskily and I closed my eyes in desire then I opened my eyes

in time to see Arthur unsheath Excalibur and held him up and Guinevere reached up and placed her hand upon his as

they rested there eyes upon us as we all bowed down before them, Lancelot clutching my hand within his as we both

bowed our head as they began to shoot fired arrows in the sky's.

I rose slowly as Lancelot followed as well and we all began to bask in happiness of having both the king and

queen.


End file.
